FUNNY JOKE!! LOL

[nanners]

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been,it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," .. I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
8)

[densbive]

Oh that is too funny. Hubby didn't think so but ehhh what does he know he flunked the test....lol

[nanners]

OK LAST ONE.. Just HAD to share this one.!

For all of us looking forward to retirement or already there:
After a spring break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent the holidays.

One child wrote the following:  We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must of have it fixed, because it is alright now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't  know how to swim.
At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night – Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it potluck
My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday to. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can see their grandchildren

;D

[bubblegum]

OMG too funny

[nanners]

funny how i can relate to that. LOL O0

[butch1286]

Very cute :)

[bubblegum]

Okay okay I found my own funny joke to add to this... ;D

A Virus Called Bedtimes

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY.

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting your inlaws. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows XP environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with
whole milk.

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!

[nanners]

WAY to funny.. O0

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!