signs your new years eve party isn't going well

[bubblegum]

10. Champagne is just a mixture of 7-Up and malt liquor

9. To beat the traffic, most people leave when the countdown is "6"

8. At the stroke of midnight, everyone starts doing their taxes

7. You're pretty sure the drunk next to you is the late Guy Lombardo

6. Everyone has to be back in their own cells by 10:00 PM sharp

5. It's just you and the automated time-telling lady on the phone

4. Everyone's speaking whatever language "Auld Lang Syne" is

3. At midnight, your host turns to his girlfriend and screams, "Helen! Release the iguanas!"

2. Passed out in the onion dip is Robert Downey Jr.

1. Macarena! Macarena! Macarena