Redneck Valentine

[bubblegum]

Redneck Valentine

Kudzu is green,  my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky  to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk,  a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me back in '74.

Still them fellers at work they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.

Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart;  It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger.  "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these will not do.
For you are too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.

[Mary]

hahahahahahaha thanks needed good laugh  :)

[pogohatesme]

lol I'm going to send that to my mom and dad....omg they are so redneck because my mom was planning on getting my dad's trolling motor worked on for him for valentines day to get it ready for fishing lol

[a-dhold]

i got you beat on the redneck

for christmas

my in laws - dad bought mom a pistol and the kids stuffed her stocking with ammo and the rest of the family pooled together to get her a consealed handgun class / license

[Mary]

thats to funny adh hahahahahaha  :)

[Jonathan]

wow i live in rural southwest virginia by a dirt road. I have seen my share of readnecks that was a much needed laugh though lol

[zzigzzag]

rofl...to funny..thanks!

[Country Lady]

i got you beat on the redneck

for christmas

my in laws - dad bought mom a pistol and the kids stuffed her stocking with ammo and the rest of the family pooled together to get her a consealed handgun class / license

:o You looked in my stocking? 
I got my concealed weapons permit a few years back, and got a Lady Smith for my b-day the same year  ;D

[Bree]

i got you beat on the redneck

for christmas

my in laws - dad bought mom a pistol and the kids stuffed her stocking with ammo and the rest of the family pooled together to get her a consealed handgun class / license

:o You looked in my stocking?
I got my concealed weapons permit a few years back, and got a Lady Smith for my b-day the same year ;D

That is really funny Country Lady and you got some great presents to boot.....LOL.  ;)

[Brandon493]

LOL, thanks for posting bubblegum

[Jinx55]

I think I seen that before, Bubblegum, but funny everytime, Thanks  8)