neighbor is taking advantage of my kindness!

[chunkster]

So I have this neighbor who is a single mother of a girl who is 12. They don't have a home phone because I guess she can't afford to have one set up (maybe because of past due bills, I don't know). They have borrowed my home and/or cell phone randomly, but not very often. Lately, however, they are coming over 6-8 times per day asking to borrow it. The killer is that the mother usually sends the daughter for it, so I end up saying 'yes' because I don't know if the girl is home alone and needs it or what. Now I think she just sends the kid to do her dirty work. I am getting a little fed up here but I don't want to be rude. I've stopped answering my door everytime and when she came over just a few minutes ago, I told her 'not right now because I am waiting for someone to call me back.' The other day she made some comment about getting a phone when she got paid that week but I was just like yeah why would you, you've got a free one right here :P I don't mind it if she borrows it like she did before (maybe twice per month) but this new constant requesting is pushing my kindness limits. How can I nicely get her to stop coming over all the time? It interrupts my work, my studying, my dinner, everything!

[Homer]

Just say no. You appear to have been generous with your offer but it's time to cut them off. They will continue to use your phone as long as you allow it. Next thing you know you will be taking messages for them as well. ;)

[pogohatesme]

I have to agree with Homer.....just be honest and tell them no

[bra]

put a bear trap in front of your door

he doesnt wanna hurt her ::)

[shasta]

I would talk with the mother and kindly let her know that all the calls are tying up your phone lines for you and your incoming calls. If she is taking the phone (cordless) to her house she could very well not answer your calls while she is on and then again she could make long distance calls and leave you hanging with them.
Hope everything works out for you.

[Helen]

You just need to be polite but firm that she can't keep using your phone.

[IndianLover]

I would talk to the mother, and maybe suggest that she should get a track cell phone (the ones that you can keep buying the cards) or maybe she could ask her family to help.

[Homer]

I don't know what the persons financial situation is but you can get a land line with local service for about $25-$30/month.

[vasunlover]

Ane now I understand why I could never get you on the phone..........lmao spb.gif

[Country Lady]

I don't know what the persons financial situation is but you can get a land line with local service for about $25-$30/month.

Not where we live in Oregon.  Our basic bill was $50. a month with free 15 min. of long distant calls.  We dumped them and went to VOIP.  Since we pay for broadband internet any way, why not.  It cost us $20.08 a month and that includes tax.  We can call free unlimited anywhere in the U.S. and Canada 24/7.  No fancey phones required either.  We are useing the same ones that we used for the land line.
Since our kids and grandchildren live in Alaska it is really nice.

I would tell her that she is welcome to use your phone in an emergency and she must come to your house to use it.  While she has it you are without a phone.

[vasunlover]

There's always "track phone" 200 minute card at walmart is only 49$, only make the calls that count!

[nightperson]

i had a friend like that to i just told her i had onyl so many minutes on my cell phone and my station phone i would like to keep it open just in case so just be nice and tell her that she can get a trac phone and pay for the minutes as shes uses them she will stop then if she gets made then be it but just tell her that she will be ok

[chunkster]

Thank you for all the suggestions... I'm baby stepping to firm no's! I'm just too nice so this is why I generally end up with "welcome" written across my forehead. I only allowed it at first cause it was so infrequent and seemed like she needed to make important calls...now I know she's just taking advantage. She uses the phone at my house but still, more than anything I'm tired of all the interruptions. I will try to nicely suggest to her that she can get a prepaid cell phone or something like that to use instead of my free pay phone! :-)

[hades]

instead of saying no...just charge them to use it.  :)

[chunkster]

lol the thought crossed my mind to say that she can use it once per day and after that it will be $2 per use

[Country Lady]

Get a wall phone with a short cord, make sure no chairs are handy, then turn up your misic or put some ice cubes in the blender  :)) :))

[foxx]

Chunkster....remember, NO is a complete sentence!   ;)

Also, if they are truly having trouble financially, there is a program in most states called "Lifeline" or "Link Up America" which will assist low-income familes with phone service.  I believe they usually will install it for free, and discount the monthly service.  Your local phone company should have all the information.  Good Luck!

[chunkster]

Thanks Foxx. I think she plays the single mother card for sympathy. I don't (now) believe she has financial trouble to that extent. Her and her daughter always have the newest trendy clothes on and have a nice car and house and stuff. Maybe she racks up credit card bills and doesnt have a phone to avoid bill collectors. Who knows. I said "no" a few more times tonight sooo hope she gets the hint. When the Sunday paper comes, I'll leave an ad for any kind of phone service I can find on her door. Thanks for all the help in talking me through saying 'no.' Gets easier to say the more annoyed I get  O0

[foxx]

Thanks Foxx. I think she plays the single mother card for sympathy. I don't (now) believe she has financial trouble to that extent. Her and her daughter always have the newest trendy clothes on and have a nice car and house and stuff. Maybe she racks up credit card bills and doesnt have a phone to avoid bill collectors. Who knows. I said "no" a few more times tonight sooo hope she gets the hint. When the Sunday paper comes, I'll leave an ad for any kind of phone service I can find on her door. Thanks for all the help in talking me through saying 'no.' Gets easier to say the more annoyed I get  O0

LOL...there ya go!