The Guys Rules

[ClingFree]

I got this from a friend .. and had to share!!


Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Brandon493]

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

Exactly! I mean come on, we always find our way, even if it takes hours. lol :D

[Tara]

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

:)) :))  We do use this line when asked if somethings wrong....I have yet to figure out how come we just don't tell ya... :)) :))

[Brandon493]

Cause y'all want attention...lol

[bobby]

I got this from a friend .. and had to share!!


Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

that's what commercials are for ;D

[Bree]

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have to many shoes.

Nope that will not do...I will never have enough clothes and as for shoes I have a countless number  of them.  :)) :))

[ClingFree]

Cause y'all want attention...lol

Okay wait .. is wanting attention a bad thing?!!?

[bobby]

quote from the simpsons " when a woman says nothing is wrong, everything is wrong, and when a woman says everythings wrong, EVERYTHINGS wrong :D

[Brandon493]

Cause y'all want attention...lol

Okay wait .. is wanting attention a bad thing?!!?

...Not necessarily...lol

[ClingFree]

Cause y'all want attention...lol

Okay wait .. is wanting attention a bad thing?!!?

...Not necessarily...lol

Phew!!!

[Tara]

Cause y'all want attention...lol

Okay wait .. is wanting attention a bad thing?!!?

...Not necessarily...lol

Phew!!!

LOL....no kiddin !!! So then if you know we want a attention ...Give it to us   

[Tara]

quote from the simpsons " when a woman says nothing is wrong, everything is wrong, and when a woman says everythings wrong, EVERYTHINGS wrong :D

And when we say everythings just fine...what does that mean?   :))

[ClingFree]

quote from the simpsons " when a woman says nothing is wrong, everything is wrong, and when a woman says everythings wrong, EVERYTHINGS wrong :D

And when we say everythings just fine...what does that mean?   :))

It means .... Attention or Diamonds .. take your pick!

[Tara]

quote from the simpsons " when a woman says nothing is wrong, everything is wrong, and when a woman says everythings wrong, EVERYTHINGS wrong :D

And when we say everythings just fine...what does that mean?   :))

It means .... Attention or Diamonds .. take your pick!

Lmao....you are bad !!   :))

[ClingFree]

quote from the simpsons " when a woman says nothing is wrong, everything is wrong, and when a woman says everythings wrong, EVERYTHINGS wrong :D

And when we say everythings just fine...what does that mean?   :))

It means .... Attention or Diamonds .. take your pick!

Lmao....you are bad !!   :))

I wish I could say Ive never heard that before - Lol - (Brief seriousness .. Id rather have the attention, but just once Id like to have to make that choice, Lol)

[Sweet_Karamel]

I got this from a friend .. and had to share!!


Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

LMAO!! Yeah it's attention. Then again so what. Sometime it's needed.  O0 

[Kelly]

quote from the simpsons " when a woman says nothing is wrong, everything is wrong, and when a woman says everythings wrong, EVERYTHINGS wrong :D

And when we say everythings just fine...what does that mean?   :))

It means .... Attention or Diamonds .. take your pick!

this reminds me of comedian Ron White saying the new slogan for diamonds is "Diamonds render her speachless" why don't they say what they REALLY mean "Diamonds that'll shut her up!!".......lmbo   :))  :))  :))

and it will too