Homer's Laugh House

[canuck]

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new scents...... :)) :)) :)) :))

[SaintHiρρo]

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new scents...... :)) :)) :)) :))

Simple yet funny. I'll get you 3 mapleleafs out of 4!

[canuck]

Thank you SaintHippo...


   Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested
that men should take a look at their beer consumption,
considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed
the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that
drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding,
100 men were fed 12 pints of beer each. It was then observed
that 100% of the men gained
weight, talked excessively without making sense,
became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think
rationally, argued over nothing, and
refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is
planned............................... :)) :)) :))...no offence ladies ;)
                                                                                     

[hades]

lol...thats only true if you cant hold down your beer  :-X

[Tara]

Thank you SaintHippo...


   Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested
that men should take a look at their beer consumption,
considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed
the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that
drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding,
100 men were fed 12 pints of beer each. It was then observed
that 100% of the men gained
weight, talked excessively without making sense,
became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think
rationally, argued over nothing, and
refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is
planned............................... :)) :)) :))...no offence ladies ;)
                                                                                     

Prove to me when a woman makes no sense when she talks?   pfffffftttttttttttt

[hades]

its been known to happen  ::)

[clayton1966]

I have three little letters that prove women can make no sense.   P M S.

;D ;D ;D

[nightperson]

yes she does have some goods one  there is some funny one in the early part i had to go for some and put on the board :))

[Helen]

Homer and the blonde

Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was now on.
The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall
building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?
"Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump"
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Homer took the money.

[Helen]

New Wine for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces
Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a
new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to
reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the
bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as Pinot More.

[ClingFree]

New Wine for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces
Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a
new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to
reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the
bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as Pinot More.

:))

[Tara]

 :)) :))  Good one Helen  O0

[Homer]

Homer and the blonde

Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was now on.
The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall
building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?
"Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump"
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Homer took the money.

Reminds me of an old trick of mine.

I was at the bar with a friend and we were doing shots and beers. I said to my friend I'll bet you $20 I can cover the shotglass with my hat and drink the shot without ever touching the hat. So, he agrees and I wait about 30 seconds staring at the hat and I said 'OK, it's gone" He says "What are you talking about?" and he lifts the hat off the drink then I grab the shotglass and do the shot and collect my $20  :o :P

[Helen]

Homer and the blonde

Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was now on.
The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall
building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?
"Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump"
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Homer took the money.

Reminds me of an old trick of mine.

I was at the bar with a friend and we were doing shots and beers. I said to my friend I'll bet you $20 I can cover the shotglass with my hat and drink the shot without ever touching the hat. So, he agrees and I wait about 30 seconds staring at the hat and I said 'OK, it's gone" He says "What are you talking about?" and he lifts the hat off the drink then I grab the shotglass and do the shot and collect my $20  :o :P

You're a riot Homer!!  :))

[Homer]

I know. I can hardly contain myself. LOL  :P

[nanners]

Not touching that one :))

[Homer]

Not touching that one :))

I can make my belly jiggle like Jello.  :P

[Tara]

Not touching that one :))

I can make my belly jiggle like Jello.  :P

So what your kinda saying is like someone could sit on your belly and get a free ride?   >:D

[Homer]

Not touching that one :))

I can make my belly jiggle like Jello.  :P

So what your kinda saying is like someone could sit on your belly and get a free ride?   >:D

Probably get seasick. LOL ;)

[nanners]

Giddy me up...ride'm cowboy!! ;D