Homer's Laugh House

[wattsmyname]

Sweet  I just loved the rake skit. :)

[Shady Lady]

May not be the funniest ... but ohhh so true  ;D
I love it!

Ok I know this one isn't as funny as most of them but.....

Do you know what has 6 eyes and can't see??





3 men in a house with dirty dishes to be done , dirty laundry to be washed , and trash waiting to be taken out

[Madonna]

LMAO Sweet...that about sums it up. ;D

[triniqueen27]

                                                ;D  Molasses ;D


A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.

One day, the papa mole poked his
head out of the hole and said,
"Mmmmmm, I smell hotdogs!"

The momma mole poked her head outside of the
hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!"

The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but
couldn't get passed the two bigger moles. Finally giving up,
he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

[Sweet_Karamel]

This was funny when I saw it. Remember when you drink too much this is what happens. You see things. LOL!!


http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf  O0

[Sweet_Karamel]

This is for the guys!!!! Ladies don't get mad. It's all in fun.  ::)

----- Men's Revenge  >:D  O0




Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

[Shady Lady]

A collection of terms that every beer drinker should know.

Bait-and-switch - When an attractive person invites you to his or her table then steers you to a less attractive friend.

Barley sandwich - Beer for lunch. Also called a slurp sandwich.

Bayonetting the wounded - Gamely drinking the half-finished beers the morning after a party.

Booze muscle - The increase in courage and combat abilities linked to heavy alcohol consumption.

De-boned - To become so drunk you appear not to have any skeletal structure to hold you up.

Deep-dish olive pie - A martini.

Deja booty - When a drunk inexplicably has sex with a person that he/she swore he/she would never speak to ever again, again.

Drinking in stereo - Boozing with a drink in each hand.

Driving by brail - Using the sound and feel of the road turtles to keep your car on the highway.

Jack and Jill - A shot of Jack Daniels and a beer.

Trip dog - The invisible canine that starts getting underfoot around your tenth drink. Once he arrives he will trip you up the rest of the night.

Trojan hooch - Bringing an empty bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag to a party so you won't appear a mooch.

Two pint screamer - Someone who gets noticeably drunk after two drinks.

[Madonna]

Madonna strikes back! ! ! ! ! ! ! Alright men, you asked for it!!!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
One. When he decides to get off his lazy butt and go get it
out of the refrigerator.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because when a woman sees a man walk in, she figures he's too
cheap to buy his own, so she runs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to not miss when she kicks a man in the groin.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she opens her mouth.
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
With a tiny screwdriver, which a woman can do herself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because men are nothing but a bunch of hot air.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The wife, because the dog is barking because he hates men. The wife
is the only one that can shut the dog up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A man who claims to be hot chit, but is nothing more than
a cold turd.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Mr. Right.
And found him out to be all wrong.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered something that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a husband.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
Because they bore themselves to death.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy. Thank God...who'd want
to look that stupid?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, God realized perfection in woman and wished
he never invented man.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

[*Angel*]

Madonna,

LOL Thanks for striking back.   ;)

[Madonna]

YVW...someone had to, after reading that bunch of crap.

[pogohatesme]

If you walk into a bathroom and your French yet, when you walk out of the bathroom your American, what are you while your in the bathroom?

Euroupean

[Madonna]

lmaoooooooo. That's true. ::)

[pogohatesme]

lmaoooooooo. That's true. ::)

lol now that I've posted this...I may cause an onslaught of bathroom humor lol

[pogohatesme]

DO you know why 6 was afarid of 7?

Cause 7 8 9



haha not...I know it's stupid but still...you know your chuckling inside lol

[Madonna]

Oh my! :o ;D

[*Angel*]

YVW...someone had to, after reading that bunch of crap.

You would think us women would stick together.  ;)

[*Angel*]

DO you know why 6 was afarid of 7?

Cause 7 8 9



haha not...I know it's stupid but still...you know your chuckling inside lol

I had to laugh.   ::)

[butch1286]

DO you know why 6 was afarid of 7?

Cause 7 8 9



haha not...I know it's stupid but still...you know your chuckling inside lol

hahahah that was really stupid and I have heard it a hundred times but i'm still fallin off my chair cant breathe im laughin so hard! ;D

[Spooks]

                              if bush was a girl

That is one scary looking girl! LOL I think I'm gonna have nightmares!  :D

[Spooks]

Scientists have discovered something that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a husband.

Why does that seem so true? Hehehehe