Homer's Laugh House

[crazy_]

Ain't it the Truth!!!

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

[hades]

lol  :)

[Lynne]

Thats cute crazy

[xx_mandy_xx]

Ain't it the Truth!!!

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

LOL....

[wattsmyname]

lol :)))

[justahumping]

good one

[IndianLover]

lol

[TmT]

Ain't it the Truth!!!

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

:)) :)))

[Tara]

Ain't it the Truth!!!

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

:)) :))

[nanners]

How'd you get that from my dr...... :)) Thats me to a T

[justahumping]

Redneck Army
      The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
6. Their favorite movie is " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ."

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

[Tara]

 :ooo :))

[foxx]

Redneck Army
      The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
6. Their favorite movie is " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ."

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

lmmfao...

[xx_mandy_xx]

 How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.

What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".


hehe....feeling sexist today :)

[Kelly]

Redneck Army
      The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
6. Their favorite movie is " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ."

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

oh my effin gawd!!!

too too funny!!!!

[Homer]

A guy walks into his favorite bar and spots a table with his buddies in the back. He walks towards them and they stand-up to greet their friend. One of them notices that his eyes are red from crying and they ask what's the matter. "My mother in law just died," he replied. "That's terrible," they all say and offer their condolences. Then another guy asks him, "Why is your shirt all ripped?" The man says, "She put up a hell of a fight."

[foxx]

 :oo

:)))

[Homer]

:oo

:)))

My grandfather used to have a saying....

In-laws are outlaws.  :))) :))) :))) :/\ :/\ :/\

[Tara]

A guy walks into his favorite bar and spots a table with his buddies in the back. He walks towards them and they stand-up to greet their friend. One of them notices that his eyes are red from crying and they ask what's the matter. "My mother in law just died," he replied. "That's terrible," they all say and offer their condolences. Then another guy asks him, "Why is your shirt all ripped?" The man says, "She put up a hell of a fight."

That's mean.  :oo

[david/ross]

A guy walks into his favorite bar and spots a table with his buddies in the back. He walks towards them and they stand-up to greet their friend. One of them notices that his eyes are red from crying and they ask what's the matter. "My mother in law just died," he replied. "That's terrible," they all say and offer their condolences. Then another guy asks him, "Why is your shirt all ripped?" The man says, "She put up a hell of a fight."

:)))that funny  :))  :))  :))