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Forms of Government and Business explained with cows

Started by bubblegum,

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bubblegum

Forms of Government and Business explained with cows

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them and the government takes all the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and the government bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors will kill you and take your cows.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. They then deny shooting you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and soon you have a whole herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY OUTSIDE OF AMERICA: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that taxes your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and the cow you had to sale and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

BUREAUCRACY AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are "associated with" (the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

COUNTERCULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like...these two cows, an. You have **got** to have some of this milk.

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. Everyone shares the milk.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. the government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. Ex-chicken farmers care for them. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You don't care.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMORACY IN AMERICA: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You outsource one to Asia. You force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You eat them both and freeze the leftovers. The US feels bad for you and gives you cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't care. You are to busy enjoying fine wine and cheese.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You don't care because you are storing them for others. And making millions doing so.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and are fighting with America over NATO regulations.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

nightperson

that is a good one  :)) :)) that would say it all have to have there hands in your pocket





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