Answering machine messages

[Helen]

Drawling granny voice: Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.

Computer style monotone: Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine. I am equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing can go wrong... Gowrong... Grong.. Grong gronggronggrongBEEP

Hi. This is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

[nameless cheater]

 :))ok i like all of those.......... dang in times like these i need a home phone

[Bree]

I love them Helen....I will have to try one on my answering machine.... :))

[hades]

lol nice idea  >:D

[holly222]

I argued with my hubby so he wouldnt put it on our phone...lol

[SexySagittarian]

I liked them...I put 2 of them on our phone :)) :)) :))

[SexySagittarian]

I liked them...I put 2 of them on our phone :)) :)) :))

[pogo_gamer]

 :)) :)) :)) :))

[kandykitty20012]

 :))) :)) :))) :))