Question for Moms

[missminimouse]

 Maybe not a question,  more of a rant I guess.  I've got 3 yr old twins,  boy and girl.   Also a 9 yr old and another on the way.   This is about my twins,  mostly my son.  I have the hardest time getting him to eat his dinner.  Most of the time he just does not touch it at all.   I'm not totally worried about him being hungry, because if he were still hungry he'd say so,   but I feel he's not eating dinner because he's a picky eater.   He's been known to eat dinner on occasion,   but mostly will sit there and play or pout depending.  If I ever try to make him at least taste something off his plate,  he will make himself throw up,  even if it's something I know he likes and has eaten before.   He did this again tonight. I had him try something and he immediatly made himself throw up.  Now I know he's throwing up on purpose,  because my older one did this also.   I eventually just made him sit there untill he at least tried everything on his plate and didn't throw it up,  but he was about 4 or 5 at that point.   Before that I just gave in to him and fed him what he wanted instead of what we were having.   Things are different now and I am not going to give in to my 3 yr old.  But with the nice weather,  I do not want to sit indoors all night waiting for him to eat some of his food.  Most nights I want to go out for a walk after dinner,   or just do something.  I'm just really frustrated over this.   Any tips or anyone going through the same thing? Thanks for letting me vent.

[lostinpogoland]

hi  have you tried vitamins   and limiting his snacks til he eats? wish i could help you good luck with him O0

[Homer]

I feel so left out.  :'( :))

[Helen]

WOW!!! I'd say you have your hands full. I also have twins and thank goodness I never had that problem with them. I have heard about other parents having problems with children that are picky eaters and most of the advice was that the child will eat when they are hungry. My niece has a daughter that will not eat anywhere but in her own house. My niece will pack food from home and occasionally she'll eat it if they are on the road. Sure makes vacations tough!! I sure hope you find a solution. I do agree that you can't let the 3 year old set the rules. Maybe if you reward him with something he really likes, like storytime or going for a walk with you, that may work. Personally, I wouldn't make the reward anything that cost money and would make the other children jealous. Hope it works out for you.  O0

[Luna]

My daughter is all grown up now. In fact she is 21yrs old and Ive been working in child care for many many yrs. In what helen said about rewarding him with something is in one sense a good idea ONLY if you use it correctly. In other words, dont bribe him with a favorite food or etc. You give him 2 options. 1st option is thatyou tell him that he will sit there until he finishes everything on his plate quietly. Let him know if he does this without ANY fits then you say that you will play games or whatever you want to use as the reward. 2nd option that you make clear to him is that if he doesnt sit there quietly etc then as soon as the rest of the family is done eating you make him go to his room. Dont award him in anyway...like watching tv etc. Its not that youre being mean by trying this, but YOU as the Parent is taking control of your child.I hope this helps you

[PB On The Run]

I'm not sure if I can post specific websites.  I did a google search for "Dealing with picky eaters"  and there were a number of sites with advice for parents.  My youngest was a picky eater.  The advice my pediatrician gave me was to offer her food.  If she ate, great.  If she didn't, not to worry, missing a meal or two won't hurt.  And believe me, they will eat if they get hungry.  My biggest challenge with both of my girls now is keeping them from drinking their meals (they both like to load up on milk, juice, or water before the meal begins).  Also, I'm dealing with them no longer liking things they used to eat in the past, because so-and-so at school says it's yucky, LOL.  It's a constant job parenting, but there are some fine, caring folks on this forum who will offer advice, or just give you a compassionate ear to vent to.  Hang in there, it will get better!!

[ClingFree]

Ooh I've been there!!! I've sooo been there. When my oldest daughter was 3 she did the EXACT same thing. If I made something she didn't like, she wouldn't eat it. If I told her she had to eat it, she'd take a bite and make herself throw up. At the same time she was doing this, I had a pediatrician telling me I wasn't doing enough forcing her to eat, because she was small for her age. Mind you, I'm not big ( 5'1" ) and my daughter was developmentally ahead of other her age, so I never felt her size was a problem. Since then, I've switched doctors and my new one thinks the old one was full of bologna.

I refused to make more than one meal. And she had to sit politely at the table while everyone else enjoyed their dinner. This was not an option. If she got crabby or fussy, she had to go to her room - no TV, no toys - and wait until everyone else was done to come out. I only had to do that twice for her to realize I meant what I said, and after that she would sit politely at the table while we ate. Once she realized that I wasn't going to give in (And omgosh it was sooo hard not to give in) she started trying things on her plate. There were alot of things she didn't like .. and there were a few things she would like. For example .. she didn't like broccoli. So when I was making broccoli for everyone else, I would only put a very small piece on her plate - it made the point that she had to eat a small amount, but I understood she didn't like it and wasn't going to make her eat alot of it. I would reward her with letting her pick a game to play after dinner, or maybe (in your case) pick which way you go for a walk that night.

I can tell you it isn't easy and you're going to count to 10 more than once. But I can also tell you it's going to be well worth it and won't take as long as you think once you get into a routine and stick with it. On the upside? It is 5 years later and she'll try anything on her plate, and if she doesn't like it she will just politely take a bite, smile and say "It's not my favorite"  The best advice I can give is pick how you're going to handle it - and stick with it. Don't let him be in charge. If you're worried he's going to grow up thinking you were mean for making him go to his room or eat something he didn't like .. just think .. Do you remember anything from when you were 3?

[Homer]

I'm not sure if I can post specific websites.  I did a google search for "Dealing with picky eaters"  and there were a number of sites with advice for parents.  My youngest was a picky eater.  The advice my pediatrician gave me was to offer her food.  If she ate, great.  If she didn't, not to worry, missing a meal or two won't hurt.  And believe me, they will eat if they get hungry.  My biggest challenge with both of my girls now is keeping them from drinking their meals (they both like to load up on milk, juice, or water before the meal begins).  Also, I'm dealing with them no longer liking things they used to eat in the past, because so-and-so at school says it's yucky, LOL.  It's a constant job parenting, but there are some fine, caring folks on this forum who will offer advice, or just give you a compassionate ear to vent to.  Hang in there, it will get better!!

If your not sure about whether it is ok to post a specific website PM or email an admin. ;) or if you prefer you could send it via PM to the person. :)

[holly222]

My son did the same thing..... age three last week for five days...... finally I told him eat or go to bed.... I put him to bed at 5 that day..... He has ate his dinner ever since..... he hates to miss spongebob...... O0

[Homer]

My son did the same thing..... age three last week for five days...... finally I told him eat or go to bed.... I put him to bed at 5 that day..... He has ate his dinner ever since..... he hates to miss spongebob...... O0

I hope you didn't make him eat Ralph's paste. :o

[bubblegum]

I refused to make more than one meal. And she had to sit politely at the table while everyone else enjoyed their dinner. This was not an option. If she got crabby or fussy, she had to go to her room - no TV, no toys - and wait until everyone else was done to come out. I only had to do that twice for her to realize I meant what I said, and after that she would sit politely at the table while we ate. Once she realized that I wasn't going to give in (And omgosh it was sooo hard not to give in) she started trying things on her plate. There were alot of things she didn't like .. and there were a few things she would like. For example .. she didn't like broccoli. So when I was making broccoli for everyone else, I would only put a very small piece on her plate - it made the point that she had to eat a small amount, but I understood she didn't like it and wasn't going to make her eat alot of it. I would reward her with letting her pick a game to play after dinner, or maybe (in your case) pick which way you go for a walk that night.

yes that works wonderfully.  He gets a morning snack and an afternoon snack and desseret.  Your choice.  And when you fix meals, if he doesn't want to eat then to bad.  He can just go hungry.  If he whines about being hungry later you can tell him he had a chance to eat with everyone else now he has to wait until the next snack time or meal time.  Also sending them to their room and taking away toys and such works great.

[holly222]

My son did the same thing..... age three last week for five days...... finally I told him eat or go to bed.... I put him to bed at 5 that day..... He has ate his dinner ever since..... he hates to miss spongebob...... O0

I hope you didn't make him eat Ralph's paste. :o

Naw..... have to save that for my self........ :-X

[crankycook]

my 3 year old grand daughter does the same thing, except for the throwing up. Anyway, my daughter will keep her plate at the table after dinner for a while, incase she decides to eat, if not she throws it away. And she is fine till breakfast the next day.

[crankycook]

My biggest challenge with both of my girls now is keeping them from drinking their meals (they both like to load up on milk, juice, or water before the meal begins). 

What I did with mine when they were small is, I wouldn't give them anything to drink, at the begining of the meal. I waited till they had eaten at least some of the food on thier plate. Then gave them thier drink. That worked for me.

[harley89]

I can offer the same advice my doctor gave me some 34 years ago. Give the child their meals and if they dont eat only give them water. He said I have never had one starve and they soon learn to eat . All children will have likes and dislikes and you should be able to pick up on those. I cant stand liver or veal. Hope this helped

[Torn2pieces]

I have the same problem with my 3 year old. He refuses to eat. He says he's never hungry. I have limited snacks, etc.

I'm told they will eat when they're hungry, but in my case he never does.

[PunkInDrublic]

My daughter is 5 now, and we've always had major battles over food. The kid is stubborn. I've tried EVERYTHING under the sun to get her to try different foods. She would always fight til the bitter end, then take a bite and immediately start gagging. Our doctor sent us to a nutritionist and we found out that she was getting all of her nutritional needs met through the limited foods she did like, so I pretty much gave up.
The nutritionist explained to her that everyone's taste buds are different and that when you grow up your tastebuds change - so if you don't like something today, you might like it tomorrow.
We sit down together at the beginning of the week and plan meals together. I let her help me prepare our meals too. We serve our meals family style now. She has to put some of everything on her plate at meal time. If it is something she doesn't like, she puts a 'no thank you' bite on her plate. The more control she has over her meals, the more willing she is to try new foods. In the past two weeks, she's tried and liked broccoli, cauliflower and cream cheese.

[missminimouse]

I do know that a child is not gonna starve themselves.   I think in his particular case he just does not have an appetite at dinner time.   He always eats all of his breakfast and lunch.  We don't typically do snacks during the day unless we've been very active that day,  or if the kids say they are hungry,  then everyone gets a snack.  He's still a little too young to understand rewards.   He's just barely getting to the point where he'll understand punishments.  You know boys don't put 2 and 2 together as easily as girls in most cases,  LOL.  Anyways,  all I did last night,  after he threw up I tossed away his food and then we went out and were out till bedtime. He didn't get another chance to eat all night,  and didn't complain about being hungry.  I don't plan on sitting around the house all night waiting for him to eat.  He will get the idea that if he doesn't eat at dinner,  he won't have another chance to,  so if he's hungry,  he better start eating. 
Limiting the drinks is a good idea I have not tried yet.   The kids do drink a lot during the day. I will try not to give them drinks near dinner time and see if that helps at all.   Thanks to all!!  :;"

[Helen]

You've had a lot of good tips here and hopefully you can make some of them work for you. I know it has to be frustrating when you can't get your child to eat and they throw it up. Hopefully it will be over soon. Good luck to you.  ;)

[ClingFree]

Missmini ... I think you're definitely on the right track. Limiting drinks may help your son. I completely agree with tossing the food (Which I know gets frustrating) and not giving him other options. Two thumbs up, and anytime you need to vent, you know we're all here, and half of us have been there!