A Dog Named Sex

[lovebug44]

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog." :)) :)) :)) :))

[Helen]

 :o   :o   :o  That was a good one!!  :)) :))

[tigereyes]

Good one Lovebug!  :)) Thanks for the laugh!

[TmT]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

[Tara]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

Ummm girlfriend?  I would probaly re-word this...It sounds like you said it brings back memories of having sex with your dog... :)) :)) :))

[Libra]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

:o  TOKIES!  :))

[TmT]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

Ummm girlfriend?  I would probaly re-word this...It sounds like you said it brings back memories of having sex with your dog... :)) :)) :))

<crawlin back up chair> laughin so hard... no.. ur jus completely...absolutely...undoubtibly...BAADD2DABONE...  

I dont need to reword it.. you jus need to go wash your mind out!!

It was a play on words.... reminds me of when I had sex (dog named sex)

[Tara]

See?  I wasn't the only one who thought that... :)) :))

[Libra]

See?  I wasn't the only one who thought that... :)) :))

I'm thinking Tokens is going to win Post of the Day!

LMAO @ at we need to clean our minds out with soap!  Ooooh GIGGLEPEE!

[Tara]

See?  I wasn't the only one who thought that... :)) :))

I'm thinking Tokens is going to win Post of the Day!

LMAO @ at we need to clean our minds out with soap!  Ooooh GIGGLEPEE!

LOL  I second that motion !!

[TmT]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

:o  TOKIES!  :))

Lib will laugh at a drop of a hat... she didnt think bad... Youuuuu did

anyways... 2 the time corner with both of you

[Libra]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

:o  TOKIES!  :))

Lib will laugh at a drop of a hat... she didnt think bad... Youuuuu did

anyways... 2 the time corner with both of you

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

[TmT]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

[Helen]

lol thats an old joke...but I love readin it...brings back memory of when I had sex... my dog....

:o  TOKIES!  :))

Lib will laugh at a drop of a hat... she didnt think bad... Youuuuu did

anyways... 2 the time corner with both of you

Hahaha, love the time out corner Tokens. Have you ever sent "your sex" (dog) there?  :)) :))

[Tara]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

:o Are you saying I am not a good person to hang around with?   :o
Lib corrupted me ...I was a good person once upon a time


I want Homer....

[TmT]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

:o Are you saying I am not a good person to hang around with?   :o
Lib corrupted me ...I was a good person once upon a time


I want Homer....

<gigglin> now why u ended that post with "I want Homer"....... (tears fallin cryin so hard lol)  omg... ur killin me

[Jonathan]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

:o Are you saying I am not a good person to hang around with?   :o
Lib corrupted me ...I was a good person once upon a time


I want Homer....

<gigglin> now why u ended that post with "I want Homer"....... (tears fallin cryin so hard lol)  omg... ur killin me

okay lol now i see that tara did need a time out...Poor tokens..

[Helen]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

:o Are you saying I am not a good person to hang around with?   :o
Lib corrupted me ...I was a good person once upon a time


I want Homer....

<gigglin> now why u ended that post with "I want Homer"....... (tears fallin cryin so hard lol)  omg... ur killin me

okay lol now i see that tara did need a time out...Poor tokens..

Time out?? There's no time outs around here, lol.  O0

[Tara]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

:o Are you saying I am not a good person to hang around with?   :o
Lib corrupted me ...I was a good person once upon a time


I want Homer....

<gigglin> now why u ended that post with "I want Homer"....... (tears fallin cryin so hard lol)  omg... ur killin me

Lmao...I can't help it...He does something to me...shhhh I am suppose to be in time out for about 2 more minutes I think...lol

[Helen]

Awww!  The time out corner is PRETTY!  And Tokies?  I DID think that....

You've been hangin round Tara...too ...too long......  monkey see...monkey do....

u gotta remember the other 3 monkeys.... see no evil.. speak no evil... oopz.. think that last monkey had no fun....... :))  ... gigglin.. oh well... I'll take that award... if u can bring back my sex... my dog

:o Are you saying I am not a good person to hang around with?   :o
Lib corrupted me ...I was a good person once upon a time


I want Homer....

<gigglin> now why u ended that post with "I want Homer"....... (tears fallin cryin so hard lol)  omg... ur killin me

Lmao...I can't help it...He does something to me...shhhh I am suppose to be in time out for about 2 more minutes I think...lol

Time is up!!!  :)) :))