Strange News

[Homer]

Police Look for Nude Man Walking Dogs
The Associated Press
LITCHFIELD, Conn. - Police say they are on the lookout for a nude man who was spotted taking a stroll with two dogs on Monday. Police say the man was seen by a female jogger in the woods of the White Memorial Foundation.

The woman, a teacher at nearby Wamogo Regional High School, was also out jogging.

Wamogo athletic director Mary Stolle says when word of the naked dog walker got around, the school's cross country teams were diverted from the woods where they had been training into White Memorial's museum as a precaution.

The suspect is a tall white man with thin hair who is believed to be in his 50s.


Woman Drives Stolen Car to Courthouse
The Associated Press
MANNING, S.C. - Amber Renee Helton was trying to avoid legal problems by paying a traffic ticket. She ended up behind bars when authorities found out she drove a stolen car to the courthouse, police said. Clarendon County deputies received a tip that Helton was going to be in a stolen car when she paid the ticket, Chief Deputy Joe Bradham said.

So officers arrested Helton as she opened the door of the 2001 Dodge Intrepid at the courthouse Tuesday morning, authorities said.

Helton, 21, and her passenger, 35-year-old Terry Lynn Alvery, were charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, Bradham said.

Helton was being held at the Clarendon jail Wednesday on $5,000 bail. It was unclear whether she had an attorney. A message left at the public defender's office was not immediately returned.

The vehicle had been reported stolen Aug. 28 in Dayton, Tenn., authorities said.

Helton had been in court less than a week before. She was found not guilty of possession of a stolen tag and guilty of driving without possession of a state driver's license, Bradham said.

"I guess she thought 'Hey, I got away with having a stolen tag. I might get away with the entire car,'" Bradham said.



Lost Planner Found in Demolition Rubble
WAYNE PARRY
The Associated Press
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. - For six years, Avis Kirk had been wondering what the heck she had done with her small leather planner book that held her checkbook, credit cards, ID and about $60.

The planner had vanished without a trace after the former Sands Casino Hotel food service worker set it down near the buffet for a few moments in 2001.

"I couldn't even imagine where it went," she said. "I thought it had been stolen. So many people helped me look for it."

But it wasn't until Ed Ensman, a demolition crew supervisor helping tear down the former Sands building spotted it in the rubble on Aug. 30 that the mystery was solved.

"We were doing interior demolition, tearing down some inside walls, and one of the Bobcat front-end loaders we use was right next to a wall," he said. "I was watching it pretty closely, and as soon as the Bobcat moved away, I saw it on the ground."

He speculated that the planner fell behind a low wall when Kirk put it down, and was simply overlooked as new walls were put up.

Pinnacle Entertainment, the Las Vegas-based company that will build a new $1.5 billion casino on the Sands site, used old personnel records to track Kirk down by contacting a reference she had listed on her employment application, and with whom she had fallen out of contact.

"The most exciting part is that I'm back in touch with my friend after almost seven years," said Kirk, who lives in State College, Pa. "We plan to get together again very soon. Life is amazing."

It wasn't the first unusual discovery at the former Sands building this year. Last spring, Pinnacle workers discovered $17,000 , most of it in coins , that had fallen under or around the casino's 2,350 slot machines over the past three decades


Man Builds Guillotine to Kill Himself
The Associated Press
ALLEN PARK, Mich. - The body of a 41-year-old man was found in a wooded area next to a guillotine he built and used to kill himself, police said. The man, from the Detroit suburb of Melvindale, was discovered Monday by workers from a shopping center near his home.

Allen Park Deputy Police Chief Dale Covert said the roughly six-foot tall guillotine was bolted to a tree and included a swing arm. Covert said police also found several store receipts detailing the materials used to assemble the device.

"I can't even tell you how long it must have taken him to construct," he said. "This man obviously was very determined to end his life."


Bald Man Accused in Hair-Loss Theft
The Associated Press
OSSINING, N.Y. - A bald man went into a pharmacy and stole five bottles of a liquid used for treating hair loss but was caught while running away, police said.

Mark Hoousendove, 42, was arrested on misdemeanor charges of petty larceny and resisting arrest, Detective Lt. William Sullivan said. The hair-loss product was worth about $50.

Hoousendove, of Freeport, had just dropped off friends who were visiting an inmate at Sing Sing prison on Sunday when he went into the pharmacy, police said. An officer patrolling near the pharmacy chased him and grabbed him, but someone who was with him got away, they said.

Hoousendove was jailed on $3,000 bail and was due in court Thursday.

There was no telephone listing for Hoousendove at the home address provided by police, and a call to the only listing for a Hoousendove in Freeport rang unanswered.

[Homer]

Police: Man Sets Off His Own Booby Trap
The Associated Press
LANSING, Mich. - A man tired of burglars nearly blew off his hand when bomb-like devices he set around his house exploded in his presence instead, authorities said.

Victor Iacobescu, 50, ran to a neighbor's house Thursday with a bloody towel wrapped around his right hand.

"Apparently, he was trying to set booby traps to get the next guy who tried to break in," fire Lt. Maggie Murphy said.

Iacobescu had been the victim of several break-ins, she said.

The neighbor, Patrick Struble, said the explosives were "like a pipe bomb. He accidentally triggered it, and it almost blew his hand off."

Police were investigating with the intent to pursue charges.

"Anything that goes `bang' is illegal," police Lt. Bruce Ferguson said. "I can't think of any (legal) reason why someone would be making a bomb.



Woman Gored by Deer at Hunting PreserveThe Associated Press
SHANKSVILLE, Pa. - A woman studying wetlands for an engineering firm was gored by a deer at a hunting preserve. Jamie Detweiler, 35, of Ligonier, was gored in the leg when the buck charged her at 6 Springs Hunts near Shanksville on Wednesday.

She was taken to Memorial Medical Center in Johnstown, where officials would not release her condition.

Randy Musser, who owns the engineering firm where Detweiler works, said she was expected to get out of the hospital Thursday.

"She's beat up a bit and has puncture wounds, but she seems to be doing pretty good," Musser said.

Roger Harmon, who opened the preserve for deer, rams and wild boar five years ago, said it's the first time anyone has been gored at the site.


Inmates Go on Sausage 'Temper Tantrum'The Associated Press
HOBBS, N.M. - Some Lea County inmates set fires and broke toilets and windows after being told they would be allowed only one sausage at dinner. Jail officials said the inmates began yelling and banging on their doors in what they described in a news release as a "temper tantrum."

Officers from the Lea County Sheriff's and Hobbs Police departments were called in to restore control, and the jail was locked down after Tuesday night's incident.

Some 33 prisoners were involved, Warden Jann Gartman said.

The remaining 300-plus prisoners at the jail accepted the meal without incident, authorities said.

The damage to the jail was light, with some smoke damage and broken toilets and windows, the warden said.

[gator8_24]

Homer, where on earth do you find these stories?  :))

[Homer]

Homer, where on earth do you find these stories?  :))

On the www  :)) :)) :))

[gator8_24]

Homer, where on earth do you find these stories?  :))

On the www  :)) :)) :))

LOL obviously! :))

[Homer]

Cops Charged With Stealing Snacks
The Associated Press
ROBELINE, La. - This village's only convenience store decided to do something nice for its police officers: give them a free fountain drink or coffee at closing time. But somewhere along the way, investigators say, it got out of control. Now, all three of the village's officers are accused of stealing snacks.

"Over a period of time, it evolved into regular drinks and more," Natchitoches Parish Sheriff's investigator Travis Trammell said. "There's no telling how it got to this point, but the store started experiencing losses and they watch their videotapes and see all of this going on."

Surveillance tapes showed each officer going into the Shop-A-Lott at Lott Oil around closing time and filling plastic bags with dozens of bottled soft drinks, Trammell said. The officers also are reportedly seen eating an assortment of other snacks without paying.

Police Chief Gordon O'Con confirmed that the officers remain on active duty, but said he was advised not to commment about their arrests. There was no answer at the police department Friday when The Associated Press made repeated calls seeking comment from the officers.


Spat Over Horse Manure Wafts Into Court
The Associated Press
MILFORD, Conn. - A man has filed a lawsuit against his neighbor, claiming he can't sell his house because of the smell of horse manure from next door. In court documents filed in Superior Court, Gino Sciortino claims Helen Catlin is permitting significant quantities of horse manure to accumulate in piles on her property and the foul odor can often be smelled at his home.

Helen and David Catlin have lived on Park Road more than a year and own three horses.

Sciortino said that at times, the smell is overpowering.

"When the wind blows, everything smells of horse manure," Sciortino said Thursday, saying the odor has made it difficult to sell his house for the past year.

Sciortino is asking for monetary damages as well as an injunction ordering Helen Catlin to relocate the horse manure and other debris and to re-grade the soil near their property line.

"Once this is resolved, I will try to sell again," Sciortino said.

David Catlin, the husband of the woman named in the lawsuit, said Thursday that he mixes the manure with other material to create compost, which he sprinkles with lime to prevent the scent from wafting across the property.

"Nobody else seems to be able to smell it," Catlin said of his other neighbors. "He's misleading a lot of people."

Staffers at the Pomperaug Health District have not reported any complaints about horse manure on Park Road.


Firefighters Save Donkey Trapped in Well
The Associated Press
UNDERWOOD, Minn. - A donkey is happily eating grass again after falling down a dry, abandoned well and being freed in an intensive rescue effort. It appeared that the animal wandered away from its farm and onto some boards covering the well, which broke, said Bruce Huseth, fire chief in this western Minnesota town.

Firefighters quickly realized that the animal, which belongs to farmer Warren Gundberg, couldn't just be pulled from the abandoned well on Bryan Nelson's land.

So they started pulling away earth with a tractor and dismantling the well block by block Thursday. Once one wall had been taken apart, firefighters put a harness around the donkey and guided it out with a rope.

"Whatever it takes," Nelson said as he watched his well come down. "I love animals, and I'm just glad it's OK."

Gundberg admonished the animal after the rescue: "I bet you'll think twice about doing that again. If you would have stayed home you wouldn't be in this trouble."

Huseth said that he has rescued cows that have fallen through ice, but that the donkey was a first.

[Homer]

Woman Surprised by Zebra Visit
The Associated Press
MUSKOGEE, Okla. - Sharon McConough says a zebra has been visiting her home and she has the photograph to prove it. McConough, who lives in the Ranger Creek area east of Fort Gibson Dam, said her dog starting barking and she went outside to see what was causing the disturbance. A zebra was trotting down her driveway. It was wearing a halter.

She ran to get her camera because she knew no one would believe her.

"It's so weird, you can't imagine what it's like to look out a glass door and see a zebra trotting down the driveway," she said.

McConough thinks it wasn't the first time the zebra has come around. She has found various clues, including dog food scattered from an outside bowl.



Venezuela Claims Big Soup Record
SANDRA SIERRA
The Associated Press

Howard Yanes
Government workers stand on a platform as they stir a soup in Caracas, Saturday, Sept. 15, 2007. Venezuelan officials claimed a world record Saturday for the world's largest pot of soup, a giant cauldron of stew prepared by President Hugo Chavez's government.(AP Photo/Howard Yanes)

The hulking stainless steel cooking pot, set up outdoors in downtown Caracas, contained about 3,960 gallons of "sancocho" stew, Food Minister Rafael Oropeza said. That would dwarf the current record-holder listed on the Guinness World Records Web site, a pot of 1,413 gallons of spicy soup prepared in Durango, Mexico, in July.

Oropeza called it "Bolivarian stew" , a play on the name of Chavez's socialist movement, named in honor of South American independence hero Simon Bolivar. He said it was enough to feed 60,000 to 70,000 people.

Workers stood on raised platforms stirring the soup with poles, and then dished out servings to a crowd at a state-run market.

It contained 6,600 pounds of chicken, 4,400 pounds of beef and tons of vegetables.

Addressing reporters next to the pot, Oropeza said the government is solving supply problems that have made it difficult for Venezuelans to find staples like milk and eggs in recent months. He said the state-run market had ample reserves of all products.

With price controls in place, rising demand has outstripped domestic production of some foods, prompting an increase in imports. Oropeza said the only product that remains in short supply is milk, a situation he blamed on a "world problem" of unusual cold snaps and dry spells hurting milk production.

As for the soup, he introduced a representative of Guinness World Records who he said was on hand to certify the record.

The 5,413-gallon pot was about three-quarters full.

"We didn't add more for security reasons," Oropeza said. "There's plenty for second helpings."


Burglar Says TV Taught Him His Craft
The Associated Press
RICHMOND, Ky. - A man who says he learned how to rob homes by watching a TV show was sentenced to 12 years in prison for a string of burglaries in central Kentucky.

Michael W. Hobbs, 36, of Waco, Ky., pleaded guilty to five counts of burglary. He was sentenced Thursday.

Police said Hobbs learned how to break into homes by watching the Discovery Channel TV show "It Takes a Thief." The show features two ex-convicts who show property owners how vulnerable they are to theft.

Police Maj. Steve Gregg said the ex-cons on the show say skilled burglars typically don't keep stolen items.

"He didn't hold onto any of the property," Gregg said of Hobbs. "He had no physical evidence at his residence whatsoever. When we entered a couple times, he said, 'Come on in, look around. I've done nothing.'"

But Gregg said Hobbs always showed up at the burglary sites.

"He was one of the type of people who would come to the door and ask if (the homeowner) needed any gutter help," Gregg said. "Then the houses around there would get burglarized. That's just not coincidental."

[gator8_24]

Would-be burglar runs off with no loot and no clothes

DULUTH, Minn. (AP) — A man who allegedly tried to burglarize a home lost his clothes in a scuffle with the 69-year-old homeowner and then tried to streak away before he was arrested.
Wayne and Kathie Boniface returned home from dinner Thursday night at a neighbor's to find the man in their house. Wayne Boniface said the man made the mistake of grabbing his wife.

"As soon as he grabbed my wife, I had him in the kitchen wrestling him to the ground in a headlock and arm-lock," Boniface said.

First, Boniface said, he ripped the man's shirt off. Then, "his head was down over the railing, and in today's world, pants are worn fairly loose. I pulled his pants, and his pants and underpants and shoes came completely off. He was completely nude."

When police asked Boniface if he could identify the suspect, he said: "Oh, yeah. I believe he's the only guy running nude in Duluth."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Police find meth lab after man misdials

ESCATAWPA, Miss. (AP) — A man trying to call a news station to complain about not getting a FEMA trailer after Hurricane Katrina accidentally dialed 911 and was charged with making methamphetamine after police arrived, authorities said.
Curtiss Randall Coleman was trying to get the number for Biloxi's WLOX-TV on Wednesday just before the 6 p.m. newscast, investigators said. He misdialed when trying to reach directory information and called 911 instead of 411.

When he hung up on the emergency dispatcher, the Jackson County Sheriff's Department was sent to the home to see if anyone was in need of assistance.

Deputies said that when they arrived at Coleman's house, no one answered the door. Officers broke in and allegedly found a methamphetamine lab.

Coleman, 53, and four others were arrested, including Coleman's son, Christopher, 30. A fifth suspect remains at large.

"It was a calamity of errors on Mr. Coleman's part," said Sgt. Curtis Spears, commander of the Narcotics Task Force of Jackson County.

Along with the Colemans, narcotics agents also arrested Erin Paula Oliver, 35, of Moss Point, and Leslie Renee McMahon, 27, of Ocean Springs. All four were charged with conspiracy to manufacture meth.

A person who answered the phone at the Jackson County jail declined to say whether Coleman and the others had attorneys.

[Homer]

CARACAS (Reuters) - A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.

"I woke up because the pain was unbearable," Camejo said, according to a report on Friday in leading local newspaper El Universal.

His grieving wife turned up at the morgue to identify her husband's body only to find him moved into a corridor -- and alive.

Reuters could not immediately reach hospital officials to confirm the events. But Camejo showed the newspaper his facial scar and a document ordering the autopsy.


Back Seat Tryst Blamed for SUV Crash
The Associated Press
MOSCOW, Idaho - A carnival worker who hit a telephone pole with his SUV blamed the crash on two friends having sex in the back seat.

Joshua D. Frank, who had been living on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. He was fined $188.

Frank told Moscow police he was driving near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. According to a probable cause affidavit, he said the movement caused the SUV to become "tippy" and he lost control of it.

Frank, 22, suffered a minor head wound in the crash and his friends were treated for unspecified injuries, according to the affidavit.


Someone Tries to Sell Belgium on eBayPAUL AMES
The Associated Press
VIRGINIA MAYO

Shown on a computer screen is the Belgian site of ebay which highlights the country of Belgium for sale with a bid of euro10 million (US$ 13.8 million) in Belgium, Tuesday Sept. 18, 2007. Hidden among the porcelain fox hounds and Burberry tablecloths on sale at eBay.be this week was an unusual item BRUSSELS, Belgium - Hidden among the porcelain fox hounds and Burberry tablecloths on sale at eBay.be this week was an unusual item: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included)."

The odd ad was posted by one disgruntled Belgian in protest at his country's political crisis which reached a 100-day landmark Tuesday with no end in sight to the squabbling between Flemish and Walloon politicians.

"I wanted to attract attention," said Gerrit Six, the teacher and former journalist who posted the ad. "You almost have to throw rock through a window to get attention for Belgium."

Six placed the advertisement on Saturday, offering free delivery, but pointing out that the country was coming secondhand and that potential buyers would have to take on over $300 billion (euro220 billion) in national debt.

Like many of Belgium's 10 million citizens, Six is exasperated that the power struggle between the county's French- or Dutch-speaking political parties has left Belgium in political limbo since June 10 elections.

Demands for more autonomy from the Dutch-speaking Flemish are resisted by the French-speaking Walloons, making it impossible to form a government coalition and triggering concern the kingdom is on the verge of a breakup.

Six decided to vent his frustration through the Internet ad.

"My proposal was to make it clear that Belgium was valuable, it's a masterpiece and we have to keep it," he told Associated Press Television News. "It's my country and I'm taking care of it, and with me are millions of Belgians."

Six' idea got a mixed reaction on the streets of Brussels.

"Very funny, typical Belgian humor," said Anne Graux. "It's ridiculous," snapped Nathalie Ginot, a Brussels resident who had her own pragmatic solution to Belgium's woes. "We think it would be good to split Belgium into the three and make Brussels a tax-haven, a capital exempt from all taxes," she said hopefully.

Six vaunted Belgium's attractions to potential buyers from art nouveau architecture to the headquarters of NATO and the European Union and some great beers. But he also warned of the pitfalls of taking on the cacophonous mix of Flemish nationalists, Walloon Socialists and the mayors of all 19 Brussels' boroughs.

EBay was happy to take Six' advertisement.

"It was a really fun listing made by a Belgian," Peter Burin, PR manager of eBay Belgium. "This person, in a very funny way, reminded the Belgians what a great country Belgium actually is and it would be a shame to sell it."

However, the company decided to pull the add Tuesday after receiving a bid of euro10 million ($14 million)

"We decided to take it down, just to avoid confusion," he told APTN.



Bees Escape Hives in Mont. Road Accident
The Associated Press
BILLINGS, Mont. - Thousands of bees got loose when the truck carrying their hives ran off a highway and overturned near a Montana community, the Highway Patrol said.

State trooper Dell Aman said he was stung twice but didn't know of anyone else who was.

"The public was in no way in danger, as long as they didn't stop to get out of their vehicles," he said. "If they did get out, they figured out pretty quickly that that wasn't the place to be , no pun intended."

The truck, headed from North Dakota to California, veered into a ditch Tuesday along Interstate 94 near the exit for Huntley, a community just northeast of Billings, the Highway Patrol said.

The truck was hauling 465 beehives , nearly 13.7 million bees, Aman said.

Most of the bees stayed in their hives but a "couple thousand" got loose, he said.

The driver, Robert Esper, 66, of Winnemucca, Nev., was uninjured. Aman said Esper wasn't speeding but was cited for alleged careless driving.

Aman said the escaped bees returned to their hives as the weather cooled in the evening. "The temperature dropped about 10 degrees while I was there, and they started going home," he said.

On Wednesday, the hives and their trailer were at a storage yard awaiting further arrangements, said Scott Hanser of Hanser's automotive and towing business in Billings



Naked man tries robbing Pa. convenience store
The Associated Press
CARBONDALE, Pa. - Lackawanna County authorities say a man wearing nothing but a hat tried to rob a convenience store in Carbondale.

Police say the 24-year-old man charged in last month's robbery attempt often stands naked in front of the window of his apartment. He was first arrested on an accusation of exposing himself to two women at his apartment building. Carbondale Police Sgt. Thomas Heller says the man ultimately confessed to being the one who tried to rob the store , and said he did so because he was bored.

The clerk at the store kept her cool during last month's robbery attempt. She refused to give the man money and dialed 911. The man left, still undressed, without getting any cash.


New Seattle Trolly Line Has Acronym SLUT
The Associated Press
SEATTLE - Officially it's the South Lake Union Streetcar. Within the old Cascade neighborhood, part of the area to be served by the new line, it's popularly known as the South Lake Union Trolley , or SLUT.

At Kapow! Coffee, 100 T-shirts bearing the words "Ride the SLUT" sold out in days and another 100 are on order.

"We're welcoming the SLUT into the neighborhood," said Jerry Johnson, 29, a part-time barista.

Trolley tracks have been laid from downtown along Westlake Avenue to Lake Union and project officials say the $50.5 million project should be completed and streetcars running in December

Some claim , incorrectly, according to representatives of Vulcan Inc., a company owned by billionaire Paul G. Allen which is developing the area , that South Lake Union Trolley was the original name and that it was changed when officials belatedly realized the acronym.

Underlying the lightheartedness is resentment over changes in the old working-class neighborhood north of the downtown area.

"There was a meeting with representatives from the city several years ago," Johnson recalled.

"They asked us, 'What we could do for you?' Most people raised their hands and said, 'Affordable housing,'" he said. "Then the people from the city huddled together , 'whisper, whisper, whisper,' , and they said, 'How about a trolley?'"

Since then Cascade has been ignored in Vulcan brochures that lump the neighborhood together with Denny Park and Denny Triangle under the term South Lake Union.

With the streetcar, said Don Clifton, a Cascade resident, "We learned how fun it is to change the name of things."

[gator8_24]

My hubby wants that t-shirt!

[Monkey]

Vicar ends up in hospital after potato gets stuck in his bottom




London, Nov 1 : A vicar ended up visiting a hospital for help after a potato got stuck in his bottom, causing him great agony.

According to the clergyman, he was hanging curtains at his home without his clothes on, when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

The reverend, who is in his 50s, had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the offending vegetable, which medics in Sheffield revealed were among the many things which got stuck in people's nether regions.

The vicar was very embarrassed with the whole situation, and kept on insisting to staff at the city's Northern General Hospital that his predicament was not the result of a sex game gone wrong.

"He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato," the Sun quoted A & E nurse Trudi Watson as saying.

"But it's not for me to question his story.

"He had to undergo surgery to have it removed," she said.

She admits that some of the sex-related cases make the staff chuckle, and has urged anyone contemplating such a stunt to think twice about doing it.

"My advice? Don't do it," she said.

"It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening.

"Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result," she added.

Health staff across Sheffield, Barnsley, Rotherham and Doncaster say that they are no longer surprised at the things people use to spice up fun in the bedroom.

"Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents," a hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said.

"But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way," she added.
--- ANI












:)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :))

[Homer]

That story has to be true because we all know that everyone hangs curtains in the nude.  :)) :)) :))

[Tara]

Oh my.  :)) :)) :))

[Squid]

 :o0

[Monkey]

Canadian prisoner, too fat for cell, released early


Wed Nov 12, 2:13 pm ET
OTTAWA (Reuters) – Canadian prison authorities were forced to release a 450-pound (205 kg) drug gang member this week because he was too large for his cell, the Journal de Montreal newspaper reported on Wednesday.

Michel Lapointe -- known as Big Mike -- was arrested in September 2006 and received a five-year sentence in May this year. The paper said he could not fit on the chair in his Montreal prison cell and when he went to bed, his body protruded six inches on either side.

A letter from the authorities to Lapointe said: "You have been detained for more than 25 months and your prison conditions are difficult because of your health".

The authorities also cited the refusal of two other facilities to accept the 37-year-old. He was freed late on Tuesday.

"I'm going to have a proper bed and finally have a chair I can sit in," he told the paper outside the prison.

"I want a normal life. I've done some stupid things and I've paid for them," he said.

(Reporting by David Ljunggren; Editing by Frank McGurty)





:ll

[swamp]

Canadian prisoner, too fat for cell, released early


Wed Nov 12, 2:13 pm ET
OTTAWA (Reuters) – Canadian prison authorities were forced to release a 450-pound (205 kg) drug gang member this week because he was too large for his cell, the Journal de Montreal newspaper reported on Wednesday.

Michel Lapointe -- known as Big Mike -- was arrested in September 2006 and received a five-year sentence in May this year. The paper said he could not fit on the chair in his Montreal prison cell and when he went to bed, his body protruded six inches on either side.

A letter from the authorities to Lapointe said: "You have been detained for more than 25 months and your prison conditions are difficult because of your health".

The authorities also cited the refusal of two other facilities to accept the 37-year-old. He was freed late on Tuesday.

"I'm going to have a proper bed and finally have a chair I can sit in," he told the paper outside the prison.

"I want a normal life. I've done some stupid things and I've paid for them," he said.

(Reporting by David Ljunggren; Editing by Frank McGurty)





:ll

:o :)) :))

[Monkey]

Another prison story....  :)) :)) :)) :-[






Inmate escapes German jail in box


A manhunt is under way in western Germany for a convicted drug dealer who escaped by mailing himself out of jail.

The 42-year-old Turkish citizen - who was serving a seven-year sentence - had been making stationery with other prisoners destined for the shops.

At the end of his shift, the inmate climbed into a cardboard box and was taken out of prison by express courier. His whereabouts are still unknown.

The chief warden of the jail told the BBC this was an embarrassing incident.

The prison authorities in Willich, near Duesseldorf, said the man, who was tall and broad-shouldered, had hidden in a box that was about 150cm by 120cm.

For years I had been asking for more security guards from the government - but now they'll have to listen
Chief warden Beate Peters

When the weekly express courier arrived to pick up several boxes of merchandise, the one containing the prisoner was also loaded into the back of the lorry.

Shortly after it had passed through the prison gates, the inmate made his dash for freedom by cutting a big hole in the tarpaulin of the lorry and jumping off.

The driver alerted the police after he noticed the tarpaulin flapping in the breeze.

Lying low
The jail's chief warden, Beate Peters, said the man must have had accomplices outside the prison.

"As soon as the prisoner jumped off the back of the lorry his friends would have picked him up," she told the BBC.

"We have no idea where the fugitive is hiding. We assume that he is still in the county and is lying low before making his move."

Ms Peters said fellow convicts must also have known of his plan but that they would not talk because of a "code of honour" and because it is a criminal offence in Germany to help somebody escape from jail.

She said the incident showed that security needed to be beefed up urgently, something she had been lobbying for in the last few years.

"I was not surprised that an escape happened on my watch. For years I had been asking for more security guards from the government. But now they'll have to listen."

[Tara]

LMAO...OMG  I guess they don't question heavy packages going out. :))

[Homer]

Has anyone seen swamp?  ?.? ?.? ?.?

Florida Boy Arrested For Gas Attack

12-year-old charged after deliberately "breaking wind" in class

NOVEMBER 21--A 12-year-old Florida student was arrested earlier this month after he "deliberately passed gas to disrupt the class," according to police. The child, who was also accused of shutting off the computers of classmates at Stuart's Spectrum Jr./Sr. High School, was busted November 4 for disruption of a school function. A Martin County Sheriff's Office report, a copy of which you'll find below, notes that the 4' 11" offender admitted that he "continually disrupted his classroom environment by breaking wind and shutting off several computers." The boy, whose name was redacted from the police report released today, was turned over to his mother following the arrest. The young perp turned 13 on November 15.

[swamp]

Has anyone seen swamp?  ?.? ?.? ?.?

Florida Boy Arrested For Gas Attack

12-year-old charged after deliberately "breaking wind" in class

NOVEMBER 21--A 12-year-old Florida student was arrested earlier this month after he "deliberately passed gas to disrupt the class," according to police. The child, who was also accused of shutting off the computers of classmates at Stuart's Spectrum Jr./Sr. High School, was busted November 4 for disruption of a school function. A Martin County Sheriff's Office report, a copy of which you'll find below, notes that the 4' 11" offender admitted that he "continually disrupted his classroom environment by breaking wind and shutting off several computers." The boy, whose name was redacted from the police report released today, was turned over to his mother following the arrest. The young perp turned 13 on November 15.

:ooo it was my daughter. she makes me so proud.  :-[ :))