Drive-Through Teller Machines

[SaintHiρρo]

A new sign in the bank lobby reads: "Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Reinsert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Recheck makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

[Tara]

A new sign in the bank lobby reads: "Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Reinsert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Recheck makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

OMFG !!  You are so wrong for that, but that is friggen funny. I will stick to the male procedure though.  I could name a few people who I think would use the female procedure but thats against the rules here and I am not going to break the rules ( today anyways)  :P

[bubblegum]

I just do the male procedure....wonder if that says anything weird about me?

[hades]

lmao nice....thats true for many females  :))

[krispy]

 :P

[pugsly™]

excuse me i a female and i just follow the male procedure but i get prepared before i arrive at the atm

[krispy]

excuse me i a female and i just follow the male procedure but i get prepared before i arrive at the atm

doesnt that look kinda funny, driving around with your arm out with window?

[SouthPadreIsland]

Too funny!!!  If I can maneuver an 18 wheeler across country a little ATM machine ain't nothin'!  But you just described my mom Hippo...sad, but true.  She usually has to open the door and get out of the car and do it though. LOL

[hades]

ive seen a few females open the door  alil to order at a drive thru. dont know why tho  :-X

[Tara]

ive seen a few females open the door  alil to order at a drive thru. dont know why tho  :-X

Maybe they were blonde and didn't know that the window rolls down  :))

[hades]

leave it to a blonde  :o

[Kelly]

The male procedure is my way but my mom is soooo the female way she makes me nuts...I just wanna cuff her upside the head but she's my mom so I don't.....lol

[kandykitty20012]

 :)))

[swamp]

 :)) :)) :))  so true  :##

[Ms.Behavin]

omg! I am so guilty. too funny! :))