Spam in e-mails.

[Mr. Scandalous]

Does anyone else hate SPAM in your e-mail account? I woke up today to find over 600 messages of SPAM in my e-mail from people saying, "You've won!," "Time to pick up your prize from..." and so on, but what I hate the most is FORWARDS! Here's the latest I've received...

"Hi everybody, this was sent to me through contacts... I'm sure you've been
hearing a lot about this, so I'll leave it up to you what you do with it...
This is 100% true. The use of msn and hotmail will cost money from summer
2006. If you send this message to 18 different people from your list your
little msn icon will become blue and that will make it free for you. If you
don't believe me go on (www.msn.com) and see it yourself. Don't forward this
message, copy paste it so people will actually read it."

Do people even READ these things anymore before they send it to their entire
list?  Not just this specific one and its variations, but any and all
forwards that revolve around things like this.  Do they just hunt down the
number they need and then pick the first "lucky" winners to send it on to? 
Honestly, DO any of you read it?  Seriously, I want to know.  Go ahead and
e-mail me the response.  Tell me, do you read the forwards that will give
five cents to a starving, dying, goatless boy in some land that I can't even
spell the name of?  Or how about the one's that guarantee you a wish, then
give you "proof" of the mysterious workings of the E-mail Elf in the
fulfillment of such things?  Better yet, how about the one's dealing with
your love life.  Send this to 69 people and you'll have great sex for the
rest of your life!  Or you'll meet the love of your life.  Same thing.  Tell
me, does the E-mail Elf (henceforth known as the "EE") really make these
things happen for those of you that send the forwards on?  I can't picture
it happening.

First of all, my advice is as such.  If someone sends you an e-mail saying
they'll give however many pesos or euros or pennies to some starving little
kid, or dying little kid, or starving dying kid.  Delete it.  Honestly, no
megacorporation is going to back an e-mail on this.  How will they know how
much to donate?  Just pick a number somewhere wide of 1 billion and go with
it?  Of course not.  The way I see it, only the government has the ability to
track e-mails and if they haven't come in and beaten you to death with
hot-karl like techniques for half the shit you perverts subscribe to, then
it just doesn't happen.  I'll even throw in some keywords like BOMB, I'M A
TERRORIST, and BOMB AGAIN!  If that doesn't get me passed around a Homeland
Security office like a cheap wh*re in a bachelor party, I don't know what
will.

Now, for my second bit of advice that deals with the "love-mails."  Here's
what I think you should do.  Step away from the keyboard, then go out and
try talking to a person of the opposite sex.. Or for those of you that like
the taco-taco action or the man-meat-festivals a person of the SAME sex. 
Trust me, you will get far better results than relying on an e-mail.  Then
again, maybe I should tell you TO rely on the e-mail.  It'll help lessen the
"idiot gene" in the gene pool.  Honestly, though, if you want to find
E-love, then use a dating site.  Find a sex site.  Do SOMETHING but pass on
love-mails that promise you nothing but the best.  Trust me, my method works
better.  I've got good authority on it.  Norman P. Jerksalot says so, "I use
sites instead of e-mails and now my hands give me satisfaction and I even
met a lady-friend once!  Though I had to pay for her services."

Point is, don't send on e-mails without first thinking it through.  You
might be bored, and in that case, I suggest you read http://www.zug.com.  Or
even try to go out and find something to do.  Yeah, you could accuse me of
needing to do the same thing.  Difference is, I'm writing my own e-mail, and
not littering it with promises of anything.  Not to mention I'm not
following some sort of "Forward Form" e-mail style.

[flgal]

very well put    :D

[Tamara]

That was very well put.  ;::

[Libra]

I get those stupid things and I HATE THEM!  >:((

So, whenever I get them (my friends and family know better) I go to snopes.com, refute EVERYTHING they say, send it back to the original sender and everyone else it was ever forwarded to, calling them morons and other not so PG-13 things, and then promtly block everyone.  Works like a champ and makes me feel a LOT better.  O0

This so needs to be in Rants and Soapboxes!  :))

[Tara]

I get those stupid things and I HATE THEM!  >:((

So, whenever I get them (my friends and family know better) I go to snopes.com, refute EVERYTHING they say, send it back to the original sender and everyone else it was ever forwarded to, calling them morons and other not so PG-13 things, and then promtly block everyone.  Works like a champ and makes me feel a LOT better.  O0

This so needs to be in Rants and Soapboxes!  :))

                                 

[Gecko]

I get those stupid things and I HATE THEM!  >:((

So, whenever I get them (my friends and family know better) I go to snopes.com, refute EVERYTHING they say, send it back to the original sender and everyone else it was ever forwarded to, calling them morons and other not so PG-13 things, and then promtly block everyone.  Works like a champ and makes me feel a LOT better.  O0

This so needs to be in Rants and Soapboxes!  :))

no im not doin a chewing gum  im thinking i may as well dump my spam with urs   :)))