Hall Of Shame

[Libra]

I have been waiting all day for you to post that story so I could say that so YOU shuup!  :-*

:P

So I have this giant pimple.  His name is Frank.   The following happened today...

There is a 12 year old that lives in one of the apartments in the building I work at.  He asked me "What happened to your face?" So, his mom, in a valiant effort to save me some embarrassment, says "She has a bug bite"...to which I respond..."No, actually, its a giant pimple...and in about 6 months...you'll have one too"...

To which he proceeds to say "Aren't you too old to have zits?"...and I say one of the dumbest things you can say to a kid..."how old do you think I am?"...

"I don't know...like 45?"  For your reference, his mom, who so obviously looks older than me is only 43. 

I am 30.

Nothing like the words of a child to bring the ego back to earth.

um I gotta ask... do ya always name your zits?  :))

No...lol...only the ones that look like they may start developing brain structure and the ability to speak... :)))  Once every 6 months or so one of them appears!  I may start naming even the baby ones now just for fun. 

LMAO!  I'm gonna need a baby names book.

[foxx]

I have been waiting all day for you to post that story so I could say that so YOU shuup!  :-*

:P

So I have this giant pimple.  His name is Frank.   The following happened today...

There is a 12 year old that lives in one of the apartments in the building I work at.  He asked me "What happened to your face?" So, his mom, in a valiant effort to save me some embarrassment, says "She has a bug bite"...to which I respond..."No, actually, its a giant pimple...and in about 6 months...you'll have one too"...

To which he proceeds to say "Aren't you too old to have zits?"...and I say one of the dumbest things you can say to a kid..."how old do you think I am?"...

"I don't know...like 45?"  For your reference, his mom, who so obviously looks older than me is only 43. 

I am 30.

Nothing like the words of a child to bring the ego back to earth.

um I gotta ask... do ya always name your zits?  :))

No...lol...only the ones that look like they may start developing brain structure and the ability to speak... :)))  Once every 6 months or so one of them appears!  I may start naming even the baby ones now just for fun. 

LMAO!  I'm gonna need a baby names book.

Probably the only reason I'd ever need one!   :)))

[Libra]

I have been waiting all day for you to post that story so I could say that so YOU shuup!  :-*

:P

So I have this giant pimple.  His name is Frank.   The following happened today...

There is a 12 year old that lives in one of the apartments in the building I work at.  He asked me "What happened to your face?" So, his mom, in a valiant effort to save me some embarrassment, says "She has a bug bite"...to which I respond..."No, actually, its a giant pimple...and in about 6 months...you'll have one too"...

To which he proceeds to say "Aren't you too old to have zits?"...and I say one of the dumbest things you can say to a kid..."how old do you think I am?"...

"I don't know...like 45?"  For your reference, his mom, who so obviously looks older than me is only 43. 

I am 30.

Nothing like the words of a child to bring the ego back to earth.

um I gotta ask... do ya always name your zits?  :))

No...lol...only the ones that look like they may start developing brain structure and the ability to speak... :)))  Once every 6 months or so one of them appears!  I may start naming even the baby ones now just for fun. 

LMAO!  I'm gonna need a baby names book.

Probably the only reason I'd ever need one!   :)))

I know, right?  I'll have friends over, and they'll see the book and go "Oh WOW, you guys are thinking of having kids?" 

"Naw, that's for my zits."  :)) :))

[foxx]

LMAO!   :))

[TmT]

So I have this giant pimple.  His name is Frank.   The following happened today...

There is a 12 year old that lives in one of the apartments in the building I work at.  He asked me "What happened to your face?" So, his mom, in a valiant effort to save me some embarrassment, says "She has a bug bite"...to which I respond..."No, actually, its a giant pimple...and in about 6 months...you'll have one too"...

To which he proceeds to say "Aren't you too old to have zits?"...and I say one of the dumbest things you can say to a kid..."how old do you think I am?"...

"I don't know...like 45?"  For your reference, his mom, who so obviously looks older than me is only 43. 

I am 30.

Nothing like the words of a child to bring the ego back to earth.

um I gotta ask... do ya always name your zits?  :))

lmao.. ..thats jus the beginnin of the wierd thingz they name.  Z is at the end of the alphabet... but they name thingz from A-Z... zit jus happen to be one of the last....

[foxx]

So I have this giant pimple.  His name is Frank.   The following happened today...

There is a 12 year old that lives in one of the apartments in the building I work at.  He asked me "What happened to your face?" So, his mom, in a valiant effort to save me some embarrassment, says "She has a bug bite"...to which I respond..."No, actually, its a giant pimple...and in about 6 months...you'll have one too"...

To which he proceeds to say "Aren't you too old to have zits?"...and I say one of the dumbest things you can say to a kid..."how old do you think I am?"...

"I don't know...like 45?"  For your reference, his mom, who so obviously looks older than me is only 43. 

I am 30.

Nothing like the words of a child to bring the ego back to earth.

um I gotta ask... do ya always name your zits?  :))

lmao.. ..thats jus the beginnin of the wierd thingz they name.  Z is at the end of the alphabet... but they name thingz from A-Z... zit jus happen to be one of the last....

lmao!  Shuup Tokens!   :-*

[SexySagittarian]

A few years back I was having severe back problems and had to have a shower chair in the shower to sit on to shower because standing was too painful. Being the "frugal person that I am, I opted for the less expensive model without the back on it. I sat and rinsed and lathered and scrubbed then stood long enough to rinse the soap off then sat back down on what had become a soapy and slippery seat which I promptly slid right off the back of. For those of you not familiar with shower chairs, they have suction cups on the feet so that the chair won't slide while you are sitting on them, so when I went down behind the chair I was wedged between the chair and the back of the tub, legs straight up in the air, arms caught between the top half and bottom half of my wet nekkid body and totally unable to move. I started screaming for Mr. Slave to come remove me from my unfortunate position but being mostly deaf, help was not forthcoming. Finally, after more than five minutes of contant screaming for help, Brandy, who lived in a mother-in-law suite at the other end of our house on another floor of the house awoke from a sound sleep and came to my rescue. She and Mr. Slave did not even try to hide their hysterical laughter as they pried my poor embarrassed and totally exposed body from it's pretzel like position. To this day if a shampoo bottle falls into the tub while I am showering everyone in the house runs into the bathroom to see what kind of trouble I have gotten into. ::)

:)))   I know that had to hurt with your back already in pain ... but omg lmao @ the visual!

I KNOW!  Coffee meet monitor!  :))

It did hurt, but I was too busy yelling at Brandy and Mr Slave to stop laughing and get my ass outta the tub to notice the pain for a while :))) Mr.Slave did sping for a new shower chair the next day tho, an expensive one with a back and arms on the side  :)))

[Libra]

A few years back I was having severe back problems and had to have a shower chair in the shower to sit on to shower because standing was too painful. Being the "frugal person that I am, I opted for the less expensive model without the back on it. I sat and rinsed and lathered and scrubbed then stood long enough to rinse the soap off then sat back down on what had become a soapy and slippery seat which I promptly slid right off the back of. For those of you not familiar with shower chairs, they have suction cups on the feet so that the chair won't slide while you are sitting on them, so when I went down behind the chair I was wedged between the chair and the back of the tub, legs straight up in the air, arms caught between the top half and bottom half of my wet nekkid body and totally unable to move. I started screaming for Mr. Slave to come remove me from my unfortunate position but being mostly deaf, help was not forthcoming. Finally, after more than five minutes of contant screaming for help, Brandy, who lived in a mother-in-law suite at the other end of our house on another floor of the house awoke from a sound sleep and came to my rescue. She and Mr. Slave did not even try to hide their hysterical laughter as they pried my poor embarrassed and totally exposed body from it's pretzel like position. To this day if a shampoo bottle falls into the tub while I am showering everyone in the house runs into the bathroom to see what kind of trouble I have gotten into. ::)

:)))   I know that had to hurt with your back already in pain ... but omg lmao @ the visual!

I KNOW!  Coffee meet monitor!  :))

It did hurt, but I was too busy yelling at Brandy and Mr Slave to stop laughing and get my ass outta the tub to notice the pain for a while :))) Mr.Slave did sping for a new shower chair the next day tho, an expensive one with a back and arms on the side  :)))

LMAO!  I still giggle at that visual.  Now go check your Pogo Mail, woman! >:D

[peaches1977]

As i was laughing *ahem* WITH you all, I could relate and put myself in so many of those same positions. 

Here's my sad admission  :-\
i didnt get a chance to ruin eggs though. I was supposed to making pasta. i put the pot on to boil..... well... i was sidetracked. my kids were fighting out front of my house and i started talking to my neightbour, she asked if that was smoke coming from my kitchen window~! OMG THE WATER~!  say goodbye to the pot and hello pizza

my hubby now wont let me cook pasta anymore  hehehe  it must have been subconscience

[Libra]

As i was laughing *ahem* WITH you all, I could relate and put myself in so many of those same positions. 

Here's my sad admission  :-\
i didnt get a chance to ruin eggs though. I was supposed to making pasta. i put the pot on to boil..... well... i was sidetracked. my kids were fighting out front of my house and i started talking to my neightbour, she asked if that was smoke coming from my kitchen window~! OMG THE WATER~!  say goodbye to the pot and hello pizza

my hubby now wont let me cook pasta anymore  hehehe  it must have been subconscience

Hee!  That reminds me of this one time (And this has a Nanners influence, BTW) I was having a dinner party.  I had everything PERFECT. I cooked all day, making my homemade sauce and raviolli's.  Well, I washed this huge pot to boil the raviolli, but apparently, I didn't rinse it very well. 

The bottom line?  I had soapy pasta.  I prayed to God to PLEEEEEEASE not have let the soapy water have soaked into the pasta. 

Nope. 

We all sat down to a dinner that tasted decidedly like Dawn dishwashing liquid.  After a couple of bites and polite comments, I said, "Eff it!" and ordered a pizza.

[SexySagittarian]

As i was laughing *ahem* WITH you all, I could relate and put myself in so many of those same positions. 

Here's my sad admission  :-\
i didnt get a chance to ruin eggs though. I was supposed to making pasta. i put the pot on to boil..... well... i was sidetracked. my kids were fighting out front of my house and i started talking to my neightbour, she asked if that was smoke coming from my kitchen window~! OMG THE WATER~!  say goodbye to the pot and hello pizza

my hubby now wont let me cook pasta anymore  hehehe  it must have been subconscience

Hee!  That reminds me of this one time (And this has a Nanners influence, BTW) I was having a dinner party.  I had everything PERFECT. I cooked all day, making my homemade sauce and raviolli's.  Well, I washed this huge pot to boil the raviolli, but apparently, I didn't rinse it very well. 

The bottom line?  I had soapy pasta.  I prayed to God to PLEEEEEEASE not have let the soapy water have soaked into the pasta. 

Nope. 

We all sat down to a dinner that tasted decidedly like Dawn dishwashing liquid.  After a couple of bites and polite comments, I said, "Eff it!" and ordered a pizza.

Aww Lib, you shoulda borrowed Nanners very clean peanut butter  :))

[SexySagittarian]

An oldie but goodie and by the way the statute of limitations is up so be be thinking of calling child protective services on my azz :oo

One day In was out driving on the beltway, as I did everyday, to and from the babysitters then to and from work. As I was driving, Brandy, who was about four years old at the time let out a blood curdling scream while saying "mommy our car is gonna "splode" (explode). I said "No, it's not punkin, everything is fine, why do you think something is wrong with the car?" She answered very innocently, "Cause all the other cars are passing us"! I knew I had a heavy foot but didn't realize until then that my kids had NEVER seen a car pass us on the road before. :)))

Yes, for those that are wondering, I became a much better mom after that point and tried to drive closer to the speed limit when the kids were in the car with me. :)

[Julez]

This one might be a bit long, but here goes anyway.....

June 2004 Gloucester, VA - We got orders to New Orleans.  Our house in VA has so many trees that raking the leaves goes on and on and on and on.  It rains a good deal in the spring, so burning leaves becomes much harder.  PIE and I finally had 2 nice sized piles left to burn - but most of the leaves are still wet.

>insert a bit of background info - PIE is what the Coast Guard calls a Marine Science Tech.  Meaning he deals with HAZMAT, oil spills, and all manner of nasty chemicals.  He's a safety guru and is always situationally aware.

We light the leaf piles with help from some lighter fluid, but it's not -quite- getting the job done.  So my genius PIE gets the GAS CAN for the lawn mower and puts a few drops here and there.  Still not burning well, so he POURS MORE GAS ON THE SMOLDERING PILES.

Well, BOOOMMM!!!!  The leaf piles take off like a Redstone rocket and the flame WALKS up the stream of gas that is pouring out of the can.  Sets the plastic, still half full gas can on fire.  PIE drops the can right next to our truck, which as Uncle Murphy would have it, has a full tank of gas.  He realizes his faux pas and KICKS the flaming can closer to the hades-hot leaves.

His sneakers are now on fire and he's just standing there.

I'm yelling at him "YOU'RE ON FIRE!"  He looks at me like I'm some crazed mutant, then finally looks down as the bottom of his jeans are now starting to flame.

He runs to the frontyard and flops around like a dying fish!

Poor guy, no burns tho.

[SexySagittarian]

This one might be a bit long, but here goes anyway.....

June 2004 Gloucester, VA - We got orders to New Orleans.  Our house in VA has so many trees that raking the leaves goes on and on and on and on.  It rains a good deal in the spring, so burning leaves becomes much harder.  PIE and I finally had 2 nice sized piles left to burn - but most of the leaves are still wet.

>insert a bit of background info - PIE is what the Coast Guard calls a Marine Science Tech.  Meaning he deals with HAZMAT, oil spills, and all manner of nasty chemicals.  He's a safety guru and is always situationally aware.

We light the leaf piles with help from some lighter fluid, but it's not -quite- getting the job done.  So my genius PIE gets the GAS CAN for the lawn mower and puts a few drops here and there.  Still not burning well, so he POURS MORE GAS ON THE SMOLDERING PILES.

Well, BOOOMMM!!!!  The leaf piles take off like a Redstone rocket and the flame WALKS up the stream of gas that is pouring out of the can.  Sets the plastic, still half full gas can on fire.  PIE drops the can right next to our truck, which as Uncle Murphy would have it, has a full tank of gas.  He realizes his faux pas and KICKS the flaming can closer to the hades-hot leaves.

His sneakers are now on fire and he's just standing there.

I'm yelling at him "YOU'RE ON FIRE!"  He looks at me like I'm some crazed mutant, then finally looks down as the bottom of his jeans are now starting to flame.

He runs to the frontyard and flops around like a dying fish!

Poor guy, no burns tho.

That's terrible! But,it's a really funny story. Glad he wasn't hurt. :)))

[SexySagittarian]

This one might be a bit long, but here goes anyway.....

June 2004 Gloucester, VA - We got orders to New Orleans.  Our house in VA has so many trees that raking the leaves goes on and on and on and on.  It rains a good deal in the spring, so burning leaves becomes much harder.  PIE and I finally had 2 nice sized piles left to burn - but most of the leaves are still wet.

>insert a bit of background info - PIE is what the Coast Guard calls a Marine Science Tech.  Meaning he deals with HAZMAT, oil spills, and all manner of nasty chemicals.  He's a safety guru and is always situationally aware.

We light the leaf piles with help from some lighter fluid, but it's not -quite- getting the job done.  So my genius PIE gets the GAS CAN for the lawn mower and puts a few drops here and there.  Still not burning well, so he POURS MORE GAS ON THE SMOLDERING PILES.

Well, BOOOMMM!!!!  The leaf piles take off like a Redstone rocket and the flame WALKS up the stream of gas that is pouring out of the can.  Sets the plastic, still half full gas can on fire.  PIE drops the can right next to our truck, which as Uncle Murphy would have it, has a full tank of gas.  He realizes his faux pas and KICKS the flaming can closer to the hades-hot leaves.

His sneakers are now on fire and he's just standing there.

I'm yelling at him "YOU'RE ON FIRE!"  He looks at me like I'm some crazed mutant, then finally looks down as the bottom of his jeans are now starting to flame.

He runs to the frontyard and flops around like a dying fish!

Poor guy, no burns tho.

That's terrible! But,it's a really funny story. Glad he wasn't hurt. :)))

The quote under your Avi has a whole different meaning after you read your story than it does before you read it! :))

[Poohdog]

I'm new to the forum but I thought I would add my story of shame.  A couple of years ago coming home from being a mum taxi, I'm coming up my own driveway probably yelling at the kids in the car and trying to dodge the cat as he feels he has to race the car up the driveway every time I come home.  Anyway my mum is standing at the front of the house smoking as normal when she is thinking why isn't she slowly down.  To cut a long story short I forgot my husbands car was in the carport and ran right up the backside of it.  My car was 4 months old and his was 10 months old, we had to have the back of his car replaced at about $3,500.  The insurance company was trying to convince my hubby to report the driver to the police, he tried to explain he couldn't do that, it was his wife driving.  To this day I have never lived it down.  My new car has reversing sensors and a mirror!!

I don't think my hubby trust me anymore!!  :;'  I think I'll blame the cat.

[damian666]

As i was laughing *ahem* WITH you all, I could relate and put myself in so many of those same positions. 

Here's my sad admission  :-\
i didnt get a chance to ruin eggs though. I was supposed to making pasta. i put the pot on to boil..... well... i was sidetracked. my kids were fighting out front of my house and i started talking to my neightbour, she asked if that was smoke coming from my kitchen window~! OMG THE WATER~!  say goodbye to the pot and hello pizza

my hubby now wont let me cook pasta anymore  hehehe  it must have been subconscience

Hee!  That reminds me of this one time (And this has a Nanners influence, BTW) I was having a dinner party.  I had everything PERFECT. I cooked all day, making my homemade sauce and raviolli's.  Well, I washed this huge pot to boil the raviolli, but apparently, I didn't rinse it very well. 

The bottom line?  I had soapy pasta.  I prayed to God to PLEEEEEEASE not have let the soapy water have soaked into the pasta. 

Nope. 

We all sat down to a dinner that tasted decidedly like Dawn dishwashing liquid.  After a couple of bites and polite comments, I said, "Eff it!" and ordered a pizza.

:))

[Libra]

This one might be a bit long, but here goes anyway.....

June 2004 Gloucester, VA - We got orders to New Orleans.  Our house in VA has so many trees that raking the leaves goes on and on and on and on.  It rains a good deal in the spring, so burning leaves becomes much harder.  PIE and I finally had 2 nice sized piles left to burn - but most of the leaves are still wet.

>insert a bit of background info - PIE is what the Coast Guard calls a Marine Science Tech.  Meaning he deals with HAZMAT, oil spills, and all manner of nasty chemicals.  He's a safety guru and is always situationally aware.

We light the leaf piles with help from some lighter fluid, but it's not -quite- getting the job done.  So my genius PIE gets the GAS CAN for the lawn mower and puts a few drops here and there.  Still not burning well, so he POURS MORE GAS ON THE SMOLDERING PILES.

Well, BOOOMMM!!!!  The leaf piles take off like a Redstone rocket and the flame WALKS up the stream of gas that is pouring out of the can.  Sets the plastic, still half full gas can on fire.  PIE drops the can right next to our truck, which as Uncle Murphy would have it, has a full tank of gas.  He realizes his faux pas and KICKS the flaming can closer to the hades-hot leaves.

His sneakers are now on fire and he's just standing there.

I'm yelling at him "YOU'RE ON FIRE!"  He looks at me like I'm some crazed mutant, then finally looks down as the bottom of his jeans are now starting to flame.

He runs to the frontyard and flops around like a dying fish!

Poor guy, no burns tho.

Poor guy... but that was hilarious!  :))

[Julez]

This one might be a bit long, but here goes anyway.....

June 2004 Gloucester, VA - We got orders to New Orleans.  Our house in VA has so many trees that raking the leaves goes on and on and on and on.  It rains a good deal in the spring, so burning leaves becomes much harder.  PIE and I finally had 2 nice sized piles left to burn - but most of the leaves are still wet.

>insert a bit of background info - PIE is what the Coast Guard calls a Marine Science Tech.  Meaning he deals with HAZMAT, oil spills, and all manner of nasty chemicals.  He's a safety guru and is always situationally aware.

We light the leaf piles with help from some lighter fluid, but it's not -quite- getting the job done.  So my genius PIE gets the GAS CAN for the lawn mower and puts a few drops here and there.  Still not burning well, so he POURS MORE GAS ON THE SMOLDERING PILES.

Well, BOOOMMM!!!!  The leaf piles take off like a Redstone rocket and the flame WALKS up the stream of gas that is pouring out of the can.  Sets the plastic, still half full gas can on fire.  PIE drops the can right next to our truck, which as Uncle Murphy would have it, has a full tank of gas.  He realizes his faux pas and KICKS the flaming can closer to the hades-hot leaves.

His sneakers are now on fire and he's just standing there.

I'm yelling at him "YOU'RE ON FIRE!"  He looks at me like I'm some crazed mutant, then finally looks down as the bottom of his jeans are now starting to flame.

He runs to the frontyard and flops around like a dying fish!

Poor guy, no burns tho.

That's terrible! But,it's a really funny story. Glad he wasn't hurt. :)))

The quote under your Avi has a whole different meaning after you read your story than it does before you read it! :))

LOL!  Yeah, he's my PIE.   :)) :))

[justahumping]

This one might be a bit long, but here goes anyway.....

June 2004 Gloucester, VA - We got orders to New Orleans.  Our house in VA has so many trees that raking the leaves goes on and on and on and on.  It rains a good deal in the spring, so burning leaves becomes much harder.  PIE and I finally had 2 nice sized piles left to burn - but most of the leaves are still wet.

>insert a bit of background info - PIE is what the Coast Guard calls a Marine Science Tech.  Meaning he deals with HAZMAT, oil spills, and all manner of nasty chemicals.  He's a safety guru and is always situationally aware.

We light the leaf piles with help from some lighter fluid, but it's not -quite- getting the job done.  So my genius PIE gets the GAS CAN for the lawn mower and puts a few drops here and there.  Still not burning well, so he POURS MORE GAS ON THE SMOLDERING PILES.

Well, BOOOMMM!!!!  The leaf piles take off like a Redstone rocket and the flame WALKS up the stream of gas that is pouring out of the can.  Sets the plastic, still half full gas can on fire.  PIE drops the can right next to our truck, which as Uncle Murphy would have it, has a full tank of gas.  He realizes his faux pas and KICKS the flaming can closer to the hades-hot leaves.

His sneakers are now on fire and he's just standing there.

I'm yelling at him "YOU'RE ON FIRE!"  He looks at me like I'm some crazed mutant, then finally looks down as the bottom of his jeans are now starting to flame.

He runs to the frontyard and flops around like a dying fish!

Poor guy, no burns tho.

OMG lol   sorry but that is just too funny