A Little Police Humor

[justahumping]

The following 15 Police Comments came from actual police car videos around the country.

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in donkey DOO."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And ..................THE BEST ONE! 

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."   :)))

[CindyLouWho]

[hades]

 ;D

[nightperson]

that a boy Justa <.>

[justahumping]

me being a good little boy  :))

[xx_mandy_xx]

LMAO would make for good tv if these were used...my favorite is: The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?  :)) :))

[justahumping]

LMAO would make for good tv if these were used...my favorite is: The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?  :)) :))

You want to know something?  When I first read that I thought. well everyone knows it is a dog. talk about a blonde moment and I would have had a ticket to boot lmao

[xx_mandy_xx]

LMAO would make for good tv if these were used...my favorite is: The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?  :)) :))

You want to know something?  When I first read that I thought. well everyone knows it is a dog. talk about a blonde moment and I would have had a ticket to boot lmao

ahahahahaha only you babes lol

[jade2002]

 :)))

[Luna]

lol

[savanahsmommy]

 :D loved them all  :D