Whining 101

[bams68]

Thx Mrs. B for taking ur time to comment. It will be rough and I know there will be times when I'll be so tired and sore but I do look at my son and see all the love he has an that bond we share and always will. I'm just so sorry even thou = I guess I'm just a sensitive person and I do tend to take a long time to heal. 
I guess what stinks so much is I've known this guy for so long, an as much as I knew he was like this, an so many times we broke up and it's just crazy....it's like I should have knew. But I will go on, as I do have sumone who treats me so wonderfully and I could never dream of such a man, and I thank my lucky stars I have him in my life and he promises me everytime that he would never walk away from what we have together. We both want the same thing, to settle down and raise our family, we're both at that time in our life where dating can be rough an so when you find sumone who makes you feel perfect an u see perfection in them...and u just can't stop thinking or talking about them...an so lots more, then I think it's time to take that step with them.
Anywho yeah I do write long post, always been a habit of mine, I remember a chat site I was in for years and the girls would get scared of me thinking I had sum problem LOL...cuz I had so much to say, hard to believe thou, but I am actually a very quiet person in real life. Oh and that's without alcomolhol LOL.
Anywho I guess it's time to try to sleep....I did alot today = more then I needed. At least I can go rest in sum nice clean sheets/covers. I just won't be able to sleep = I know it. Oh well I'm come upstairs an watch tv n pass out on the couch I guess = like I always do mostly.

Have a great nite all and I'm so sorry to vent to ya all...I just felt so angry an I needed to get it out, as I don't wanna put my anger on my lil one. Pleasant dreams to u all and hopefully a great week.

Oh and Rob and Amber came in First yet again...whooo whoooo whoooo hehehehe - sorry had to do it


Ur Deer Friend
bams

[kandykitty20012]

Life is actually stinking at the moment thanks to my wonderful ex. This might sound stupid to sum, but for me it was sumthing I had no choice over. Since my son has been born, I've been dealing with a huge back prob which most of u know by now I think, due to the epidural I had for my child's birth, I now suffer from server backpain and leg pain, which has left me pretty much on my back 24/7, at the beginning I was not able to do a thing. Not even use the washroom on my own, sounds crazy but yeah u have no idea jus how much. Well so here I was trying to take care of my son an myself and my ex was not an ex at the time, we were dating an a few weeks after my son was born - I  couldn't stand it anymore, he did nothing for me at all. I had a c=section for my son and instead of maybe getting sum rest to heal, I was left awake for 56 hours straight cuz I had to hold my son at night cuz he would not sleep alone. * I did that for a month straight*  I had tried everything, putting him asleep with clocks, in bathtubs in dresser drawers...nothing worked. I was then beginning to see jus what a father this guy was gonna be....so I moved in my own home and guess what...he wanted to move in too saying he would help me.(I've known this guy a very long time, we began dating when I was 12yrs old, so I thought ok)Well he did help for my son, but he did nothing for me. But I would give him credit for at least taking care of my sons needs. Well today ....he claimed he was moving out west cuz he had a job there and he wanted to date again...so he basically just left my two year old standing there crying, and who is very attached. He left him there cuz he felt he needed to date again. Wow instead of waiting a few months when it was time to go our both ways....cuz I am gonna be moving. So instead of waiting for that such time, he choose today, walking now is gonna be a task for me, cuz we still have sum cold weather, and I don't wanna take my son out in that so there goes my walking thing I was on.....I've never felt so disrespected in my life. I don't know why I've been crying all day, but I do know it's mostly cuz of my son, an how he is gonna feel and how hurt he must be feeling an I can't do a thing. I feel so helpless, the one thing I cannot protect him from, sumones love and how cruel they can be. I just can't stop feeling so sorry for my son and how I feel it's all my fault. I' know I am dating sumone new and it has been two years now an we still are planning to eventually move together, but we do live abit apart and he does work alot and I respect that. I know in my heart that I am trying to make a good life for my son, and I know sumtimes life can leave us in tears - I just hope an pray to god my son can get past this stab in the heart from his dad and hopefully know just how much I love him, and whatever love he is missing, I can surely replace with mine cuz he has it all.
I'm sorry about such a long post, Guess I just needed to vent as I'm still pretty much hurt and upset. What can I say, life can be cruel to those who don't deserve such treatment. Jus not rite  :"

Ur Deer Friend
bams

I feel for you bams...dont worry thing will work out....and your son has you by his side and he will turn out just fine....Now give your ex a head start and kick his  :o0 to get to the west alot faster..... (OO) here is a hug for ya sweetie.

[bams68]

Oh thankies, huggies well needed. I think I no need to kick his ass out west, I know he'll be back either here or at his dads cuz he'll feel horrible up there. He's not a city boy and his buddies are his life.....an I know he'll be back. Might not rite away but I know his style. He's never left the East Coast before and I jus know he's gonna have a difficult finding his way around. But actaully don't matter.....I'm moving on and putting that part of my life behind me and welcoming my future.
My son is doing sumwhat ok, he talks alot about his dad and where he is and wonders what's going on.....It will take time before he kinda lets this all fade away from his mind. Just so sad a grown man stabbed his lil 2 year old in the heart like he did. Anywho thx again.


Ur Deer Friend
bams

[Ms.Behavin]

U seem like a strong woman. Keep going STRONG, DETERMINED, FOCUSED and POSITIVE. Things will always work out in ur favor when you have those 4 things on ur side. You will be just fine.  <.>

[Luna]

Bams I feel for ya hun. You seem to be a strong person and that will rub off on your son. Just keep smiling and go on with your everyday life as normal as you can that way your son wont be too effected by him leaving. He's young and will bounce back quickly. Kids are great at doing that. Children seem to feed off of our emotions. So if he see's you sad etc it can make him feel that way to. My ex was a pain. From day 1 of our marriage it was bad. He always left us and dumb me always allowed him to come back because of our daughter. I put up with that crap for over 16yrs till I finally realized I cant keep saying its best for our child. In fact it wasnt best at all. It made things worse eveytime I allowed him back into our lives cause sure enough.....POOF the  :o0 would leave again. It felt great to not take him back again. That was over 6 yrs ago now. The only time me and him would have any contact was when he was taking my butt to court. So during those 6 yrs I mentioned he dragged me to court on a monthly basis. But now Im free and happily remarried. My daughter did admit that she was glad I didnt take him back cause it was too hard for her to watch daddy come and go. So I guess sometimes its just best to let them go and just have visitations with the child. I never once thought that by allowing her dad back into our lives so many times was really the wrong thing to do. I was only hurting my daughter by doing so. Glad I opened my eyes. I hope everything works out for you and your son.

[bams68]

I am trying so hard to keep my chin up, but it is hard. I just feel so all alone. It's so quiet now here just with me an lil one and I feel so pulled apart that now I have no time to pull myself together an I can't seem to think of things to keep my lil one busy to keep him occupied. I just wanna crawl under sum place small an try to mend what has been broken for so long. I guess alot of women tend to pack things up an move back home and have that extra hand, but I don't get along very well with my mom and I know that staying here would be best for when my sweetie comes to visit...I just feel so lonely and I have no clue what to do to pass my time. I tried to play pogo but seems I keep thinking too much and I always end up more frustrated or in tears.

But I will keep strong as I can and do my best for my son as he deserves so much. He did find it hard when his dad left, cuz yeah I was crying so much not for his dad but for my son, an how much he was hurting him by doing this to him. But it didn't matter to his dad.....an that just makes me so upset. what more can I say, he just doesn't understand what he's doing and that will affect my feelings at my son seeing him again. I know it's important for our lil ones to see there parents, but he won't be around so he says an I'll jus have to slowly move on and introduce my sweetie more n more to him until he's comfortable with him, he was last time, alot. I just want everything to be kewl before I make the big change n move him elsewhere. The worst is still yet to come, but our future shines so much.

thanks for all ur replies, I'm still having a hard time. I think I'm gonna go try to lay down and watch boring tv.

Ur Deer Friend
bams

[Luna]

Bams I wish there were some magic words I could say to make you feel better. You will find a way to deal with the feelings you are having right now. Just please dont allow yourself to take the blame or any type of guilt. Dont get yourself depressed. Think about things that make you smile or laugh. Think of your son and your sweetie. Laugh at the things that tokens, tara or so many have written on this forum. Do what ever you feel you need to do. We all are here for you to vent. Big  (OO) for ya

[Ms.Behavin]

Hey Bams, if u ever want to talk you can pm me. I will give you my email addy and we can discuss some things that might help. I dont want to go into detail on the forum. 

[vasunlover]

so sorry for your hurting bams, feel free to pm as an extra set of ears and shoulders are waiting

[bams68]

Thank you all, it means alot to have great people like you all around. I think I did vent alot here and it has helped alot. My sweetie has been helping me as well to stop thinking of the past as they are in the past now and to think about what we have to look forward to and how perfect they will be and how he so wants to look after us. He knows how much my son matters to me, an how much I feel guilty about this happening, an I am trying to move on and so far I am feeling abit better. I feel I just need to keep busy, and it helps. I know Michael means so much to me and I know he will treat us so perfectly as he does now......an I know my life will get alot better just being able to hold him again, as we both want that so much. Anywho as for now I'm feeling sumwhat better as I did get out this evening abit and did sum shopping for the house. Felt great shopping for things for myself for a change and not for his dad cuz we had different taste. LOL But I'm just rambling on here......You all have been truly great, no words can ever express my thankies for that. I have always been a shy person and pretty much quiet and so I tend to be a lil sheep in real life...stick to myself cuz I feel more at ease that way. So most of my real life friends went there own way. Which I really don't care about any more but when we get into times like these it helps to have people listen to you an help you deal with isssues that arise.
Thanks again everyone for ur kindness and time, I am off to rest now and hopefully have a great day tomorrow. Nite Nite all sleep well

My biggest hugs to you all (OO)
Ur Deer Friend
bams

[Tara]

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time sweetie.  Comere  (OO)  (and I'll even be the boy)  :)))  Just keep venting, it seems to help and remember god only gives us as much as we can handle.    :-*

[Luna]

Lots of  (OO) (OO) (OO) to you and your son Bams

[Ms.Behavin]

I am passing  (OO) (and NO Tara, I am the boy..... :ooo  :)) :)) :)) ) alll around the forum. Hope ev1 has a great day!  :^*

[TmT]

Uh... why is there a difference whose the "boy".. I know the story of the birds and the bees.... and women today can do jus about anything a man can... Women may have to buy somethin to strap on... they may have to bind their chest if they want it to look flat........ unless they are as fortunate as Tara and is borned flat-chested.  If the relationship gonna work... they both equally need to put in their best to plez one another......

I guess one wanna be more feminine the weaker sex... the submissive roll.... then Tara would definitely be the male/dominant one... she's bossy...and masculine... lol

<<hugs>> u know I love u  VV  :))  :))

[Tara]

Why does Tokens always have to put my name in her posts?  >:D I don't do that to her.   :)))

[Monkey]

 :.

[Ms.Behavin]

I know this is Wining 101, but today I am not whining, I am screaming MAD at my husband!  >:(( I dont think I have ever been so F'ing pissed at him. NEVER!
There was a bunch of crap he needed to take of last year to avoid having it roll into this year where it would cost us more (long story). He looked me in the face and said he took care of those things. Well he lied! Now today I find out he didn't and his excuse "I forgot"  OMG!  (O+O) If he would of just told me he couldn't do it, then I would of taken care of it, but Nooooooooo.  (O+O) !@#$ Man I am so pissed. Who needs this crap!
(O+O) :{: !@#$ (O+O)

[Tara]

Yikes....I guess that means no sex for him this week?  ::

No really, that's just how men are..forgetful and they lie and they stink and most of them are useless. I know one that the only thing he is good for is picking up one leaf at a time..lol

I know another who all hes good for is eating salad with hair in it.

I know another who all hes good for is his avatar.

Men...they suck

Cheer up sweetie, you can't take back what he already screwed up.  Put him the doghouse and make him beg his way back inside.

Edited because...oh well I really don't know...

[Ms.Behavin]

Ty Tara, this time its divorce time. I am so sick of this crap! I am tired of having to clean up his mess.

[Monkey]

I know another who all hes good for is his avatar.

I heard that  :: ::)