your going to stick what where

[pogo_gamer]

Had to go for what I thought were just tests this morning after a night on the throne, now I was getting tired of all of those trips so confiscated my mothers bedside comode and placed it behind my behind behind my computer

I was given some sort of crap to mix with a clear liquid of my choice, soda, water, but was upset when they said, no you can't use liquor  >:((  Imagine there I sat on a throne happily crapily typing away when I hear this noise and started to spray, what a feeling comes over you, if the person you were playing with knew you weren't as they said, So full of poo


Next morning, meaning today !!

OK, now I'm hyper going for this test let alone without any morning coffee  !@#$, I am a nice guy, mild mannered like Clark Kent, But take my coffee away and I become like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde   (O+O)

OK, so now no coffee and on the way to the hospital, we pull in, make sure we have the papers for the proper test and procede down this long hall way accompanied by this nurse that looks like she could take on 5 sumo wrestlers at once

OK, now comes the not so fun part, Another nurse tells me to strip and put this paper gown on, open slit to the rear :o
She closed the curtin and disappeared.

OK, now I procede to unfold this paper gown and it musta been a factory reject or sumthin because it was all stuck together !!

Finally I got it apart with only a rip hear and there, Hadn't even gotton it on when all of a sudden without a word from her, The curtin was thrown back wide open  :(  there I stood in my alltogether stark azzed naked and the room was quite full, well my B.P. must have climbed by the time she realised the dilemma and got that dang curtin closed again

OK, finally have this old recycled news paper that about 4 sizes to small draped around my body, A couple of minutes later the curtin once again was opening, but at a much slower pace than before and the question was asked, " are you decent? "

OK, now my  :o0 is hanging out of this gown that is ripped and still partly glued together and the spectator area has seem to have grown  :OO

The nurse tells me to lay on the bed and that the doctor would be in soon, now I'm  :/// for what seemed like a long time and what looked like a doctor walked past the end of my bed and walked into a room not far from where I was displayed with a gown that didn't fit and an ever growing audience :(

OK, next thing I knew two of those spectators that were watching me crabbed my bed and whisked me away, to the next room and I was just getting comfortable on this bed when ( I guess he was a doctor) told me to stand up and lean over the end of the bed, Now imagine, there were 3 other people along with what I hoped was a doctor and myself in this room, so now I'm sure my B.P. has hit the roof and procede to do as told and stand up, well needless to say he didn't have to open the gown because it already resembled the parted sea, In a rather gruff voice He said bend over and spread em, I said excuse me ? Do WHAT? He again with a little more instructions said Bend of the table and spread your  :o0   OMG, 4 people in this room and I am going to display my  :o0 like an open News Paper

He said I am going to stick my index finger in your  :o0   Now mind you, we weren't even properly introduced and I'm on display having a finger stuck up my  :o0, he felt around for what seemed like a century and I felt his finger leave and thought, now what in the hell just happened

OK, Now He who I assume was the doctor, remember we weren't introduced told me to climb back on the table turn over on my side facing the wall :OO  I did as told when I felt a stick to my arm a mask put on my face when what I guess was another doctor walked into the room, there I am my  :o0 sticking out on display and this other doctor telling me were going to give you something to relax you  :"

The what I think was the second doctor told That although I would not be completely knocked out would not remember anything afterwords :o

Now what kind of a statement is this to make to a guy that just had his  :o0 invaded like the beach at Normandy, by now I am really feeling :-[
and wanted nothing more than to just pick my marbles up and go home when I realised they too were exposed in this torn gown  :OO


OK, now I am asked, Is your B.P. normally this high, all I could say is I guess things are a bit elevated from all of this attention and kind of dozed off

OK, next thing I know I am waking up from what felt like a 3 day stooper and was told that I should pass gas and I would feel a lot better, I again looked around and yes, the recovery room was crowded and I'm supposed to  ?.? like I'm in the wild outdoors  In walks what I think was the Doctor and tells me he has some good news and some bad, good news was He didn't think I had cancer, but on the next breath tells me, we are sending a specimen off to make sure, He then said we removed 17 pollops and that I had at least that many left and had to repeat the procedure  :ooo

He then said, you are going to feel quite a bit of discomfort until you pass the gas, we use air to open you up as we check for pollops with our scope, I replied Scope, is that like a scanner, he said well kinda, but unlike a scanner where the outside is scanned, this was on the inside

OK, Now totally  :-[ I hear a feel  ?.? oh god at this point I didn't care who was watching or  ?.? listening, At long last  ?.? I was given a cup of coffee  ?.? and a couple slices of toast  ?.?, I threw the toast in the trash and  ?.? swallowed that coffee like it was a fix  ?.?, I asked for a second cup and  ?.? was given one  ?.?

?.? ?.? ?.? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ?.? feeling ever so much better  ?.? ?.?

Ok, now I am told to get dressed and can leave after explaining I may have discomfort for a few days and a bit of blood in my stool  ?.? ?.?

Now the doctor once again poked his head in and said call the office on Monday for another Appointment  ?.?

What do you think the chances of that are ?  ?.? ?.?

[bams68]

Oh my dear soul  :)). That brings back sum memories after the birth of my son. I had a c-section and after it was all over and I spent a week or so in the hospital, on my day of leave....they removed my staples and gave me a suspository to help use the washroom. Well after he left.....a lady walks in to talk about a program they had with nurses coming to my home to help out. Well little did she know I was in line for a bathroom break soon, and to make matters worst....the freaking fire alarm goes off and seconds later firetrucks begin to arrive...I'm like going into code red here and ladies are announcing a fire in the kitchen area of the hospital.
This lady refuses to leave my room and I'm laying there thinking what is gonna happen next....she then looks at me an asks if I was ok. I'm like well I dunno what your thinking about all these fire alarms going off, and if the hospital is under a code red or not....but for me if you don't leave very soon it's gonna be a code brown. LOL I then went on to explain to her that I was in need of using the washroom due to sum thing shoved up my butt by sum handsom doctore mind you but as soon as she left....I was in there as fast as I could.

all worked out
Ur Deer Friend
bams

[TmT]

In short, you had a Colonoscopy.  Most men have one done at the age of 50 and women get it done when intestinal probs occur and they suspect a possible prob and we have it done, as well...

[Homer]

[pogo_gamer]

OMG Homer Love dat guy, I wanted to say Feet do your duty and F*** da shoes, I'm gone !!

[Homer]

I hear ya. I would be skeered.

[gator8_24]

LMAO you men could never give birth to a child!!!!

[TmT]

LMAO you men could never give birth to a child!!!!

lol and agreein with Gator... nope, they sure couldnt... not when an "index finger" cause major catastrophe, a full page report, and turmoil... imagine the men that have not reach the age 50... readin Gamer's experience...are dreadin the big colon test... rofl hard.....<<fallin outta chair kickin my legs in air...tears fallin... lol 2 hard> to think... I had same test done and almost enjoyed it..... <<kiddin about enjoy part>>

[Homer]

Try passing a kidney stone.

[bams68]

<<kiddin about enjoy part>>


You sure about that LOL spit it out, we all know you enjoy'd it  :P :)))


Ur Deer Friend
bams

[TmT]

Try passing a kidney stone.

Done that when I was 15 or 16 yrs-old... parents thought it was Aunt Flow visitin... took me to doctor and he said.. it was Uncle Stone... not Auntie Flow... lmao

<<kiddin about enjoy part>>


You sure about that LOL spit it out, we all know you enjoy'd it  :P :)))


Ur Deer Friend
bams

Lmao @ Bams.... the drugs ... the sedative made procedure fun to me... lol.. I watched the monitor and was like... wow... inside of me  sure is ugly....glad outside dont look like THAT!!

[bams68]

The body is an amazing thing, very interesting how it works. How pain is there to warn urself that ur injured and stuff. I watched a show about that an how you don't really feel pain until you actually see what happen'd to urself, they say once you look that's when the pain sets in as a form of communication to ur brain that it's time to heal and stuff. Kinda odd but yeah kewl nonetheless.

When I had my son during C-Section believe me I was not looking and wouldn't want too. All I know is I wished I was more in to at after and not so drugged up as I found out sum serious info on what went on in that room. I lost alot of blood I heard and sum stupid doctor I had gave me blood thinner, my family doc was very concern'd about that and I never looked into it but wow huh, kinda stupid move if you ask me. I was weak for months after. Recovery didn't go so well  :'(( an that crazy epidural I will never forget that either, reason for my whole back prob - basically to say my fault - I jumped and I think that's why I'm sufferin' now

Ah well

Ur Deer Friend
bams

[gator8_24]

I rememer the epidural when my son was born, they say "don't move" well heck that's when I got a big contraction and I'm to be still? lol