How can you tell?

[dragonsrage]

Ok i been online for quite some time now im 26 and single after a terrible divorce that cost me my career in the army my kids and my life in general. after moving almost 2000 miles away to start over i have recently started chatting on yahoo and in pogo with several people who are friends. one friend in perticular everytime she logs on i get all jittery and when i talk to her i clam up. its a catch 22 because i look forward to her comming online but think im scared of this getting way outa hand or me getting hurt again... how can you tell when its been long enough and is the net  worth trying to build a relationship on? it has been two years since i got divorced and i have known this friend for almost a year and a half... wow what a first post lol.

[harley89]

Sounds like you think you got it. The net is a funny place. If you want to meet your friend keep a few things in mind. People are not always what they appear. SO dont be disappointed if she is slightly different.  What I mean is the net allows you to say things you would not normally do. Also you have been through one terrible relationship so take the time to get  know the real person you would meet face to face. I have heard horrror stories and true love being found on the net. So be careful and go slow.  Good Luck and Grandma  says be careful 

[bams68]

Well speaking for myself here, I dated a few times online and out of all the times I have dated I have only really fell in love once and it's still going strong. It was pretty an instant attraction. Our communication has no boundries and we just crave each others time, wanting to be with each other. Maybe in time that will fade abit, but so far he's all I wanna be around and talk too.
It took us about a year to meet as he lives abit far from me, but not too much but enough to make it abit pricy at times. Those first moments for me still have my heart soaring and I know he is the one as he says the same thing. We share this love on an equal ground, and we are in this together.
I think the key here is to know an have in the back of ur mind that the other person can be lying to you and it's up to you to truly listen to everything they say, and look for any peep holes that they might have missed on to cover up. Such as do they speak of there family if so...have u spoken to them, what do they say of the one you have feelings for..things like that. I think no matter how good you are at lying....there is always sumthing thats gonna give u away.
So anywho..I wish u good luck and just keep in mind that if you meet, that person can be a total different person. That is one huge thing people are afraid to post online and I don't know what people get off with having sumone complent them on sumone elses picture...that's my pet peeve. Will never get it
Good Luck and I hope u do find sumone to make u happy

Ur Deer Friend
bams

[dragonsrage]

Ok but how should i approach her to let her know how i feel she tells me she is very reluctant because someone ripped her heart out online. i have never had anyone make me feel this way before it kinda scares me that over the net i could feel so strongly toward her but everytime i try to tell her i choke  up like a teenager on a first date.

[dragonsrage]

maybe i should just link her to this thread lol

[bams68]

well for a relationship to be able to work you gotta have communication, and that's for you to work on, cuz if ya don't then I'm afraid you might let this thing slide past you. One can't read your mind and sure you can link her to this thread but I feel ur still not accepting that it's in ur best interest to be able to talk to her as many things can happen in life and in order to put these things to rest or to make things work you need to talk.
As for her being in a past net relationship and having her heart ripped to shreds, that's for her to put behind her and not to judge all men based on previous ones.
I too judged men and didn't think sumone would actually see me for who I was. Not for who I was on the outside or anything like that, but who actually look'd past my outter shell and saw sumone who was a loving mom who did anything she could to make her son smile and those around her. But seem'd any person who stepped up to me, only noted the things I felt were not important and it was depressing and stuff. But sumone did see me for who I am and saw all the things I reall am about. Instead of commenting on my body or face he actually saw that i was dealing with back pain and that he was sorry to read that and from there I knew exactly that he was not like the rest of them, he actaully read my profile took the time to get to know me and where I was coming from, which is another important thing....Listen to what the other has to say. Sumtimes all we want is to be heard.
Anywho I think you need to express ur feelings maybe in a conversation with her or even email her, letting her know you have a hard time expressing these feelings but you need to tell her so you can feel more at ease around her. An if she does not get back to you or she gets upset, then at least you took that step. Hope that helps you

Ur Deer Friend
bams

[dragonsrage]

ty bams i will do that :)