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Speeding Ticket

Started by Darling SilverDodger,

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Darling SilverDodger

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem Officer?", the driver asked. The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"
       
      The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
       
      "You don't have one?"
       
      The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
       
      The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
       
      "I'm sorry, I can't do that."
       
      The policeman says, "Why not?"
       
      "I stole this car."
       
      The officer says, "Stole it?"
       
      The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
       
      At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"
       
      "She's in the trunk if you want to see."
       
      The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
       
      The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
       
      The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"
       
      "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
       
      "Murdered the owner?"
       
      The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"
       
      The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
       
      The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
       
      The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
       
      The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."
       
      The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
       
      The man replies, "I bet you the liar told you I was speeding, too!"
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, rum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Holy crap what a ride!"




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