The Rules of Marriage

[Darling SilverDodger]

      1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
      2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
      3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.
      4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES
      5. The Female is never wrong.
      6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a lagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
      7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
      8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
      9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.
      10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
      11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
      12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
      13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
      14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.
      15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
      16. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.
      17. Every house belongs to the oldest female living there.