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Dieting Under Stress

Started by Darling SilverDodger,

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Darling SilverDodger

Dieting Under Stress
   
MMMMM-------------------------BREAKFAST------------------------------
     1/2    Grapefruit
       1 sl Whole wheat toast, dry
       8 oz Skim milk

MMMMM---------------------------LUNCH--------------------------------
       4 oz Lean broiled chicken breast
       1 c  Steamed spinach
       1 c  Herb tea
       1    Oreo cookie

MMMMM---------------------MIDAFTERNOON SNACK--------------------------
            Rest of Oreos in the package
       2 pt Rocky Road ice cream
       1    Jar hot fudge sauce
            Nuts
            Cherries
            Whipped cream

MMMMM---------------------------DINNER--------------------------------
       2    Loaves garlic bread with
            -cheese
       1 lg Sausage, mushroom & cheese
            -pizza
       4 cn Beer OR
       1 lg Pitcher of beer
       3    Milky Way or Snickers Candy
            -bars
 
   Rules for this diet:
   
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
   calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories
   in the candy
   bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
   3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't
   eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
   chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they
   are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's
   personal fuel.  (Example:  Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior
   Mints, Red Hots, or Tootsie Rolls).
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories.  The process of breaking causes
    calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives or spoons have no calories if you are in
   the process of preparing something.  Examples:  peanut butter on a
   knife while making sandwiches or ice cream on a spoon while making a
   sundae.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
      Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream or mushrooms and white
      chocolate.
   
   NOTE:  Chocolate is a universal color and may be substitited for any
          other food color.
   
   
!@!
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, rum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Holy crap what a ride!"

swamp




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