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November 22, 2024, 05:34:48 AM

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The Tomato Garden

Started by Darling SilverDodger,

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Darling SilverDodger

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

"Dear Vincenzo,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I am getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the garden for me.
Love, Papa"

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

"Dear Papa,
I'd do anything for you Papa, except dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie"

At 4 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.

"Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie"

;:"   >:D
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, rum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Holy crap what a ride!"


Ms.Behavin


swamp


swamp


Ms.Behavin

Awwwww Gator, why you go and do that? HUh? Why you gotta remind me of the good times? Now I am gonna cry again.  :'(( This is the last season.  :((

swamp


Ms.Behavin


swamp



S/H/Z/G



Darling SilverDodger

Redneck Firewood!

Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep!"
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, rum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Holy crap what a ride!"

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