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More Blonde Jokes

Started by Darling SilverDodger,

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Darling SilverDodger

What do you call a Blondie in an institute for higher learning?

A visitor.

A Blondie driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to K-Mart now?"

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What did the Blondie do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.

Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE HAVE BLISTERS ON HER LIPS?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.


A Blondie was down on her luck.
     
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blondie."

The Blondie pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Blondie checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blondie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blondie?"
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, rum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Holy crap what a ride!"

swamp

Quote from: SilverDodger on August 20, 2007, 07:40:47 AM
What do you call a Blondie in an institute for higher learning?

A visitor.

A Blondie driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to K-Mart now?"

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What did the Blondie do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.

Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE HAVE BLISTERS ON HER LIPS?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.


A Blondie was down on her luck.
     
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blondie."

The Blondie pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Blondie checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blondie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blondie?"
:)) :)))

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