More more blonde jokes

[Darling SilverDodger]

Blonde in Disguise

A blonde wanted to buy a TV, so she went into the store. She found one she wanted, and asked the shop assistant what the price was. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was. The blonde walked out, and got her hair colored into red. Next day, she walked in, and asked the shop assistant how much her chosen TV was. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was again. She was confused. So, again, she walked out. She got her hair colored into black. Next day, she walked in, and asked how much was her chosen TV. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes!" his reply was again. Now the blonde was really confused. "How did you know I was a blonde?" asked the girl. "Well, because what you've got there is a microwave. "


A Blonde in real life

This is a true incident, and thought you might enjoy it.
While my wife and I were on our way out to dinner with another couple, my buddy's girlfriend, a blond, decided to tell us a blond joke.  It went something like this:
The Blond: You guys want to hear a blond joke?
Us:   Sure!
The Blond:  If you have two blonds and a brunette, what is the brunette doing?
Me:  Interpreting.
The Blond: No, she's translating!
(at this point I almost crashed the car cuz my eyes were filled with tears from laughing so hard.)  The boyfriend, trying to help, is attempting to explain why the three of us are dying.  Her next words:
The Blond:  But they're not the same thing!  One is when there are different languages.
Fortunately, we reached the restaurant then, because I was unable to drive much farther before hitting something :)

Deer Tracks

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.


Have another Drink

A brunette, redhead, and a blonde go into a bar. The brunette says to the barkeep, "I'd like a BL." The bartender replies, "What's a BL?" The brunette answers in a snotty voice, "A Bud Light. DUH!"
So, the bartender dutifully serves up a Bud Light. Then, the redhead says, "I'd like an ML." The bartender asks, "What's an ML?" The redhead answers, as if to a slow child, "Miller Lite. DUH!"
After serving the redhead, the bartender, now wary and on alert, turns to the blonde.
She says, "I'd like a fifteen, please." The bartender thinks and then says, "Okay, I understand that a BL is a Bud Light and an ML is a Miller Lite. But, I can't figure out what a fifteen is."
The blonde rolls her eyes, tosses her hair and answers, "A Seven and Seven. DUH!"


Locked Out

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde #1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"
Blonde #2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!"


Drive Time

There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat.
The brunette says, "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde, "So, do you see any cops?"
The blonde replies, "Yes."
The brunette says, "Are they behind us?"
"Yes."
"Are they close?"
"Yes."
"Are they going to stop us?"
"I don't know."
The brunette says, "Well, are their lights on?"
The blonde replies, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."


Row Your Boat

There's a blonde in a rowboat in the middle of a field, just rowing and rowing her heart out. Another blonde comes down the road, looks into the field, and stares at the first blonde.
"What do you think you're doing?!" she asks.
"I'm rowing, and I'd better hurry up! I'm going to be late!" says the first girl.
The second girl gets mad. "What?! You know, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name! And if I could swim, I'd come out there and slap you silly!"


They Are Getting Smarter

A blonde was very upset at all the dumb blonde jokes she was constantly hearing. She decided that she would learn all the state capitals in an effort to defend blondes everywhere. She went home and spent the entire evening learning them all.
The next day, someone at her office told a dumb blonde joke and she immediately retorted, "Hey ... I bet I know something that ALL of you don't know. I know ALL of the state capitals which proves that not all blondes are dumb."
The people in her office were somewhat dubious. One of her co-workers finally asked, "Ok ... what's the capital of Texas?"
To which she smugly replied, "T."


No, Over There

There were two blondes driving to disney land in Los Angeles. The were looking for signs that would lead them there. One of them finally saw a sign. It said "Disney, Left .... so they turned around and went back home