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Microsoft Tech Support Inquiry

Started by Darling SilverDodger,

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Darling SilverDodger

Dear Microsoft Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please
help!

Thanks,
Stumped User.....

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Stumped User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0
and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the
background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance
. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and
Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 ! and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
!
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!


Best of luck,
Microsoft Tech Support
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, rum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Holy crap what a ride!"

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