Male Chauvinism

[TmT]

These jokes are tasteful not male bashing or demend women but with the intent to express humor like blonde jokes. Do not want to offend blondes or males/females. I will remove any joke that someone feel is a sensitive nature to them.

Chauvinism Jokes


In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.


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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Q: How many chauvinist does it take to change a light bulb?
         A: None, the chick can wash in the dark.
       
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Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
          A: Tell her to get back to work!


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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.


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Q: What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

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What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

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The wife found her husband sitting on the back porch crying.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Do you remember when we were dating and your father told me that if I didn't marry you, he would send me to prison for 20 years?" he said.
"Yes", she responded "So what?"
"I would have gotten out of prison today", he sobbed.  :'((

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A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's a woman!

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How is marriage like a hot bath?
Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

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Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."
Husband: "Which is this?"

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Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

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Why are men like popcorn?

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.  <:>

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What do men and women have in common?

They both distrust men.

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Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can remember them.  :8:

[gator8_24]

LOL enjoyed them all!  This used to be telephone, telegraph, tellawoman--What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

Times and communication have changed LOL

[TmT]

LOL enjoyed them all!  This used to be telephone, telegraph, tellawoman--What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

Times and communication have changed LOL

You know it is an oldie... and by time I have grand kids... TeleMAN will replace TelaWOMAN.... men talk worst then women (gossip)

[gator8_24]

LOL enjoyed them all!  This used to be telephone, telegraph, tellawoman--What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

Times and communication have changed LOL

You know it is an oldie... and by time I have grand kids... TeleMAN will replace TelaWOMAN.... men talk worst then women (gossip)

I think it should be that way now! LOL

[TmT]

LOL enjoyed them all!  This used to be telephone, telegraph, tellawoman--What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

Times and communication have changed LOL

You know it is an oldie... and by time I have grand kids... TeleMAN will replace TelaWOMAN.... men talk worst then women (gossip)

I think it should be that way now! LOL

lmao :## Uh huh, I agree!!

[raindropz]

 :)))

[TmT]

:)))

<<gigglin> Made u laugh... rofl hard

[edfshr]

Yes,  O0 O0

Western Union reported that it sent its last telegram on Friday, Jan 26 2007.

[TmT]

 :D lmao okie dokie :))

[IndianLover]

 :)) Love the one about the opening of a beer

Because it sounds just like my mom and step dad. No matter what she is doing,  He say's
"Why your up.... get me a beer" Even if she is sitting down. No way no how if that was me I would   :{: the stuffing outta him.


Why are men like popcorn?

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.   Umm... satisfy me um when????  :)) be nice if it lastest more than a minutes  :))