I Need To Vent

[Stinkerbell]

So, this morning my family and I were going out to breakfast when I get this frantic call from my dad.  They had bought a TV from WalMart and it wouldn't fit in his car.  He and my mom, both elderly, were standing in the parking lot and needed us to come put the TV in our car and take it 45 miles away to their house.  No problem, we really didn't mind doing it.  So we skip breakfast and meet them at WalMart.  We are getting the TV into our car and my mom starts a conversation with a woman loading her purchases into the car next to theirs.  She tells the woman the whole TV story and how they had to call us to come help.  The nice lady tells my mom that she is very blessed to have a daughter she can depend on.  My mom says that she knows she is and the goes on to tell her that she has 2 sons also who are very dependable. 

This is where I start get ticked because neither of my brothers can be depended on for anything.  One lives in Ark. and calls occasionally, but even though he makes really good money, he never helps our parents financially or sends Christmas or Birthday gifts but gets really bent if you forget him.  He continually makes excuses for why they can't come visit our folks.  The other brother, the REAL thorn in my side, has screwed our parents over financially so many times that I really can't keep count.  Right after my folks moved out here from Louisiana, my brother put a patio on their house for them.  He also had helped them move out here.  My dad had estimated that my brother was out about $8,000.00 for the trip and patio and so something was written up in a will and I'm executor.  Well, my dad was having some landscaping work done and my bro offered to pitch in $1,500.00 for a couple of additional things. Of course my dad never saw a penny of the money.  So anyway, a few months ago my dad starts talking about tight things are for them.  I suggested they look into a reverse mortgage (I knew nothing about them) to free up some cash and make things more comfortable.  Frankly, I don't care if there's anything left for me when they both pass, it's more imprtant to me that they can live comfortably and independantly.  So they decided to do that after a lot of checking, and decided they would repay the $8,000.00 they owed my bro too. 

Now, keep in mind that up to this point my bro never called them, never came to see them, nothing.  My dad called him and told him they were going to repay the money, minus the $1,500 for landscaping he had promised to pay for.  Suddenly, bro was calling 3-4 times a week to see how things were going and even, miraculously, had the time (because a client conveniently canceled an appt) to come and pick up his check when they had gotten the money.  Then, as you can expect, they haven't heard from him since. 

So, this is why I am so ticked off.  I love my parents.  We take them groceries to help out and do it in a way that they don't feel like a charity case.  We give them special treats, things they won't do for themselves like lunch at Red Lobster, a box of See's Candy or a Marie Callendars pie, or just little things like that.  We go visit them, and they come here.  We are there for them when they need help, just like this morning.  How dare she lump me in with my 2 deadbeat brothers and say that we are all so dependable and so wonderful.

I do not want special thanks, I don't want to be thought of better than the others and I even feel guilty for feeling so angry towards them... but I just can't help it.  It just makes me so angry.  I feel very hurt.

So there's my vent and some might think me petty, I just needed to get it out.  Thanks to those who listened, and to those who didn't, I don't blame you one bit!  All comments welcomed.

[Homer]

Try not to take it to heart ABL.

I don't think your mother intentionally hurt your feelings. Parents rarely bad mouth their children. (Even the naughty ones) At least not from my experience. I have a sibling who I love but insists on being an ass-hole. He has very little regard for other people's feelings as long as he gets his way. I know who I am and I know I am a good person. Those who have a negative perception of me I could care less about. Opinions are like ass-holes...everyone has one. While it is nice to occasionally hear how much you are appreciated from your family members it is not something that keeps me up nights. Just continue doing what you feel is the right thing for you to do.

I hope I worded that right. As long as you are secure and happy with who you are...Who cares about what others think?

[Tara]

I agree with Homer's advice to you and just remember that you do what you do for them because you want to and not because you have to. Try not to let your brothers bother you. One day they will need something and guess what? No one will be there to help them.  You just do what your heart tells you to do.  (OO)

[Stinkerbell]

I agree with Homer's advice to you and just remember that you do what you do for them because you want to and not because you have to. Try not to let your brothers bother you. One day they will need something and guess what? No one will be there to help them.  You just do what your heart tells you to do.  (OO)

Thanks, and I agree with both of you but my mom will always be there for them, even tho sometimes they need to fall on their faces to learn the lesson.  She created them and then can't understand why I have such a difficult time with them.  Last Christmas I was planning the family dinner.  We were going to BBQ steaks and ribs (yeah, that's California for ya)  I invited my bro 2 weeks ahead of time and asked for an answer one way or the other.  He has 4 kids and a wife # 3 so I needed a head count.  He kept telling me he'd have to get back to me and let me know.  So he never did and I finally tracked him down on Christmas Eve and he said he still wasn't sure if he'd feel up to it (fact is, he was cheating on his wife and hoping to get together with his slut ) so I asked if the kids would be there and in the background I heard the oldest one, 16, say "depends, what's she cooking?"  And beleive it or not, my brother had the nerve to actually ask me.  How freakin rude.  His kids are little clones of him.  Anyway, I will never invite him to anything again and that makes my mom very angry with me.  I told her, he's welcome to come if he can call ahead of time and let me know for sure that he will be there, but never gain will I put myself in that situation.   

Dang, venting again!

[Tara]

I wouldn't invite them anymore either. If you don't have enough respect to say yes or no, then screw ya.  You have to remember about your mom, no matter how bad your kids screw up, you still love them all the same. (Well at least some moms do)   You might get mad and upset with them, but they're still your kids and blah blah blah. I know how you feel though. It's like you want to shake sense into them and say "Hey their screwing you over, don't talk to them" Yanno what I mean? I think that came out right. It's hard to type this type of stuff.  Dads can hold grudges and mamas can't.

Edited because half my words were missing. 

[xgingerx]

then anything happens the family calls me...when all is well i'm the azz ...i'm use to it...

ABL...dom't let it get to you only you pay with being upset about it all..just know in your heart you was there for your mom and dad when the bro's wasn't...
smileing knowing you can vent here and we won't take sides

[Homer]

Edited because half my words were missing. 

Did you find them?   :)) :)) :))

[Tara]

Edited because half my words were missing. 

Did you find them?   :)) :)) :))

If I didn't were you going to send that messed up reindeer to find them?  :))

>:D  Now, get out of here unless you plan on offering more advice. This is a venting thread.

[Homer]

Edited because half my words were missing. 

Did you find them?   :)) :)) :))

If I didn't were you going to send that messed up reindeer to find them?  :))

>:D  Now, get out of here unless you plan on offering more advice. This is a venting thread.

[harley89]

i admit I see my mother on caller Id and have to take a deep breath before answering. It is always about the same person. Its hard and sometimes I look toward heaven and just ask is the end times coming soon