how you can tell what coast your on

[swamp]

The waitress says:
East: Did you say milkshake?
West: Did you feel that earthquake?

What a "drought" is.
East: When it doesn't rain for 3 weeks.
West: When it doesn't rain for 3 years.

I love:
East: The smell of wood burning in the fireplace.
West: The smell of houses burning in the neighborhood.

How you can tell when it's Christmas time.
East: Snow covered roof tops, bushes and pine trees are
decorated with colored lights. Horse drawn sleigh rides,
kids sledding, malls packed, wreaths on the front of cars, carolers.

West: Cactus plants strung with red chili shaped lights.
Longs drug store has a 50% off sale from last years
Christmas ornaments. Surfers wear elf hats.
Car jackers take off Christmas Day.
Man in Santa suit at Fallbrook Mall used to be a v.p. for a
hi-tech aerospace firm. The LAPD, in the spirit of the season lets
you drive 90 mph instead of just 80.

Name the four seasons:
East: Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.
West: Drought, Fire, Flood and Earthquake. :)) :))