Sorry, All You Twilight Fans...

[Stinkerbell]

Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us).

http://io9.com/5241252/physicists-prove-that-vampires-could-not-exist

An excerpt:

The physicists note: "Another philosophical principal related to our argument is the truism given the elaborate title, the anthropic principle. This states that if something is necessary for human existence, then it must be true since we do exist. In the present case, the nonexistence of vampires is necessary for human existence. Apparently, whomever devised the vampire legend had failed his college algebra and philosophy courses."

Oooh, snap! But, this gauntlet had been barely thrown down before it invited a rebuttal from mathematician Dino Sejdinovic. In his article, "Mathematics of the Human Vampire Conflict" (Math Horizons, November 2008) Sejdinovic faults Efthimiou and Gandhi's logic, since they have not "accounted for the birth-rate of non-vampires and death-rate of vampires (actually the death-death-rate since they are already dead, but when they die again they should stay dead but stop being living) due to close encounters with stakes, garlic and holy water." Moreover, "vampires are presented exclusively as greedy consumers: a rational strategy of managing their human resources is not considered."


It's actually a really good article. LOL

[disneyland lady]

And we are all aware that one of the main focal points of being a vampire is the way they can disguise theirselves. I suggest these men (and I am sure they are men) have not read Interview With A Vampire or even seen Nosferatu - talk about a real Vampyre. There is also a paper on how the moon landing never happened but instead it was manufactured on a movie set. Sheesh, I continue to wear my garlic even though it has been "proven" to have no affect with true vamps.

[Stinkerbell]

Sheesh, I continue to wear my garlic even though it has been "proven" to have no affect with true vamps.

And I'll wager to bet that you've never been bitten by a vampire, have you? So who says garlic doesn't work!

[disneyland lady]

And I'll wager to bet that you've never been bitten by a vampire, have you? So who says garlic doesn't work!

I just realized that I very well could be making a big mistake. Gonna review my garlic behavior.

[hillbillyjim]

you do realize that vampires are not real and that garlic doesn't stop us 

[Stinkerbell]

I just realized that I very well could be making a big mistake. Gonna review my garlic behavior.

That's what I was thinking...

[Stinkerbell]

you do realize that vampires are not real and that garlic doesn't stop us 

I was reading a vampire novel *gasp* I know, and the lead lady found out she was dating a vampire and freaked out. So she started hanging garlic all over the place. When the vampire got to her place and smelled all the garlic he said "Awesome! Are we having Italian tonight?"

[swamp]

I was reading a vampire novel *gasp* I know, and the lead lady found out she was dating a vampire and freaked out. So she started hanging garlic all over the place. When the vampire got to her place and smelled all the garlic he said "Awesome! Are we having Italian tonight?"

[Hocky]

you do realize that vampires are not real and that garlic doesn't stop us 

Are there such creatures as Hillbilly Vampires? 

[Stinkerbell]

Are there such creatures as Hillbilly Vampires? 

I'm afraid to know what they drink. LOL

[disneyland lady]

I'm afraid to know what they drink. LOL

Come on, you know it has to be 'moon' shine! 

[Stinkerbell]

Come on, you know it has to be 'moon' shine! 

  Or the blood of someone who has been drinking heavily of the moon shine, right?

[hillbillyjim]

  Or the blood of someone who has been drinking heavily of the moon shine, right?

we drink BLOODweiser freshly made  

[Stinkerbell]

LOL Hillbillyjim

[somuchfun]

 

[disneyland lady]

perfect answer,  hillbillyjim