When you lose a Pet!!

[17MattFan]

Not sure if anyone knows or cares but My american bulldog puppy got ran over last saturday by my son-in-law and step daughter. he was only 2 months old. i HAD him for 2 weeks.

my question is what do you do?
how do you act?
Needless to say I was very very pissed,,,, even though I know it was an accident, the thing that gets me is no one has said they were sorry.

i didnt talk 2 them at all that night,,2 days later and I told my son in law i wasn't  mad anymore just sad and dissappointed.
I have had numerous dogs and cats over the years but for some reason this one bothered me the most i cried for 3 days. still miss him.
i'm just wondering if this is natural or if i am losing it.

my husband and step daughter and step son they are not dog people. they dont really like pets.
and they just cant or dont understand why i am still so upset.
To them it was just a puppy what's the big deal?
Sorrry about rambling i  have been thinking about this all week and was wondering if any 1 else went through the same thing.

Thanks for Reading
""MISSIN BULLDOG""

[Joe C]

Sorry about your loss. Those around you need to give you condolences.

[Homer]

I recently had to put one of my pets to sleep and it is tough.

I still tear up  sometimes when I think of her.

Even though one door has closed another will soon open when I adopt two newbies into my home.

[Stinkerbell]

I'm so sorry about your fur-baby. When it comes down to it, nothing said or done will erase the pain, but in my own opinion, I feel like your family should be offering more support and condolences.  

If it were me, I would sit them down and ask them if they care at all about your loss and your feelings, are they just so sorry they can't express themselves, or do they not care at all.  I would also tell them that although THEY may not want to discuss it, it was your loss and you NEED to talk about it.  If they can't understand that then.... I don't know what you can do about them, but I would certainly insist that it be discussed so you can totally move foreward.

And know that here on this forum, although we might only seem like words on a page, behind these words are people who care about you and you are always welcome to vent, cry, laugh... whatever YOU need to get through this horribly sad time or any other day for that matter.

[17MattFan]

Thank You all so much!!!
Ya'll are absolutely the most caring,generous and considerate people I've ever had the pleasure of talking to.
Wish I would have found this site sooner but I'm here now and I'm staying lol.



Homer,,, so sorry about the loss of your pet.
I'm also thinking of getting another puppy my daughter has been begging me.
Haven't made up my mind yet though.

You ALL ROCK !!!!

Have A Great Weekend Every 1

[mycatownsme]

Way to go! I'm so glad to see you feel better. 
On July 30 we took on 2 kittens even though we had a 10 year old cat at home.
We took them to the Vet right away to get them checked out and shots and all you do and that total of charges for that day alone for the 2 of them was $325.
We didn't want our 10 year old to be exposed to anything.
The kittens kept having coughing, sneezing and choking types of behavior and so we took them back to the Vet. Constantly asking what is wrong? Can our 10 year old cat get this. We can return these kittens and I would rather because they are not well.
The Vet assured us that they were "probably" going to be ok and they just needed to outgrow this. Never gave us a diagnosis as to what was wrong. But did repeatedly say our 10 Year old cat would be fine because she was older and we had kept her up to date with yearly visits to the Vet even though she was an indoor cat. We treat them like our kids. Our 10 year old is our 6th cat making these 2 new kittens numbers 7 and 8. So we know some of what we are dealing with. But have never had a cat do what these kittens are doing.
A few days ago, one of the kittens died. We took her to the Vet and come to find out, the problem seems to be they have herpes virus. And my 10 year old cat has it now too.
In talking to family and friends, its sad to hear the negative comments. Some from Dog lovers rather then Cat lovers. And some from those who feel it's just an animal, no big deal as you have heard.
And then when they hear the amount of money we have spent on these cats they about loose it.
A lot of the comments are very awful and negative.
We have learned a lot. But mostly know that we have to do what we feel is best. Not anyone else.
And as you have found out, there are a lot of people that feel as you do and/or will be compassionate and caring towards your feelings.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide about getting another pet.
We have always gotten nothing but love from our furkids and can't imagine our lives without them.
StevesMom 

[mycatownsme]

I'm sorry to read about your loss too ((Homer))) 

I hope you let us know when you get a new pet.

Take Care, purrs, meows and headbonks too.

StevesMom

[Homer]

Thanks all

[disneyland lady]

17MattFan - am very sorry for the loss of any pet and still have not gotten over the death of a 22 yr old cat that happened 3 years ago. BUT.....you need to heal your heart as they will never know the depths of pain on the loss of a pet until they fall in love with a puppy or cat or any animal considered "pet". Only then are they going to understand what you went thru. You need to try to forgive their lack of feelings cuz it could put a rift in your relationship forever when they actually truely do not understand what you feel.

[rhino]

I am sorry for your loss 17MattFan. It was a month yesterday that we had to put down my best friend and beloved yellow lab HARLEY. She was 12 years old and my god she was our life considering we have no children and all our attention would go to her. Like Homer i still tear up at times thinking about her and the times we had. There is a great void in our lives right now and we never thought it would be so tough.
Anyway there is a place called RAINBOW BRIDGE on the web that is for pets and for help with your loss. They have a poem there that really strikes home. Here it is.
HOMER i am sorry for your recent loss!!

The Rainbow Bridge


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet
goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water
and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals that had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.
Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we
remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy
and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special
to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body
quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green
grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and
you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from
your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

[17MattFan]

I love the poem. Thank You for it. I am sorry for the loss of your lab Harley.
I knew by posting this topic on here that I had came to the right place.
That everyone would understand how I felt. It doesn't matter if you are a cat person are a dog person.
I'm just an animal lover in general I have dog's and cat's.

Again Thank You All for All The Kind Words
I Really Do Appreciate Them!!!


mIssIn "BuLLdog"

[JAYREMI]

so sorry ya feel all kinds of different feelings hard to explain when it dies or gets killed when ya get a pet its one of the family now lost my wifes maltese ANGEL then this year lost our cat SPIKE but funny thing about spike same day he died the cat in back of us had kittens and my wife took one black cat we named him CHEETAH  so hope ya feel better JAYREMI

[jarjar]

Mattfan I know your heart is aching. My hubby and I are animal lovers. Sometimes it scares us how much we love and treat our animals just as much or better than the kids.
To lose one is so painful. Time does dull the heartache but you will never forget that special love you had. God bless you sweetie
The problem we have is when we lose one we always seem to get another to fill the void. Then you love that one just as much as the other.

[harley89]

People that dont like animals dont understand those of us that do and people that love animals dont understand people that dont  Over my life I have lost many of my animal family. Right now I am coming to realize that my best friend and surrgate child is getting old She is 16 her hearing is bad and her eyesight is going.  But life is still good for her so we go 1 day at a time.  She can no longer make it upstairs to sleep by my bed.  I live in the part of georgia that got 20+ inches of rain and the storm that brought it was a once in a lifetime thing. My canine child is scared of thunder. My husband was called out to work in all this so i put miss Abbie on her leash and led her up the stairs. Having just changed mattresses the old one was  still on the floor  under the eaves(log cabin loft) i grabbed a blanket and pillow and she and I huddled on that mattress and she settled down her head on my chest. Me stroking her ears.  Sadly alot of people just dont get that connection  She is my child

[jarjar]

I understand the connection Harley and I love you for that

[17MattFan]

I have went over every single second of the night he got ran over.
actually all the way back to the day I picked him up.
I blame myself of course if I never would have gotten him knowing that my husband is not a animal lover like me.
he didnt want the puppy inside but I kept him in anyway  I was going to until he got big enough to fend for himself.

I had put him outside because  of the famiy being here and if I would have went outside 5 minutes before.
or if my husband didnt complain about him being inside ,,,or if my son in law would have told me to come get him.
all those things i think about. it bothers me so much i cant even sleep. i have his pic as my screen saver i cry every time i see it. it was there though before he died. my youngest girl is 11 and she asked me "how do they know for sure it killed him"? what if he was just hurt and still breathing my god it kills me to even think of that.


its been along time since ive felt so bad. and i know i will move on bu I have never been affected by anything like this. it feels like some 1 is tearing my heart out. i just hope that "bulldog" knows how much i love him and miss him

[snowflower]

 
Well hunny, I'm so sorry to hear about your pet. And I'm REALLY sorry they don't understand how you feel.  Unfortunately, someday they will!  I understand very well and I really feel for you.  I lost a 17 year old friend who seen me through everything: good times, bad times, loss of jobs and replacement jobs, old friends and new ones, losing my parents, birth of grandchildren, marriage, divorce and re-marriage, etc, etc.  See thread "Is it worth it?"  I found the best thing to do was to go right out and get another one '''' it's the only thing that takes the pain away.  It won't replace the last one, but this one'll make his own special paw prints, bring much needed love into both of your lives and be there when you need him the most.  Do it soon.  God Bless!

Snowy

[Dave K]

I'm very sorry to hear about that. I know that dogs and cats are like furry family members and very tough and dramatic to loose.

Don't be sad that you lost your pet, be happy that he was your pet! 

[who me?]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have two Siamese I love dearly and a 3 lb Chihuahua that owns my heart, I honestly can't say what I'd do if I lost one, especially my Lil Bella.
Funny thing is I was never a small dog lover, Actually my favorite furbaby was a Great Dane, How I fell so in love with a tiny Chihuahua is beyond me.... 
You'll know in your heart when it's time to give a loving home to another special furbaby.
Don't blame yourself or your son in-law with the what if's and if only's. I'm positive it was purely accidental.
I feel sorry for your family to not know the special bond and the love a furry one can bring, it truly is their loss to not know such loyalness and adoration between furbaby and person.
Hon, it hasn't been that long and your going to go thru a ton of emotions, just know we are here for you to talk too and cry on anytime you need us 

[Hocky]

Ok my turn........

I recently got a fur baby...Zeus my Yorkie....he was 6 months old in June when I got him.  I got him because I am an empty nester and my hubby is a truck driver and is on the road...alot.  I needed something to care for and something to love me back because I get so lonesome in the big house all by myself all the time.  Hubby didnt really want a pet but gave in because he knew that I needed companionship (not like he was gonna have to actually take care of him anyways).  It's been an adjustment....I sometimes feel like I lost my freedom because I was so used to coming and going without worrying about getting back home to care for Zeus.  I still work full time and I worry about him being in his crate for 8-9 hours a day ( I dont trust him to roam around the house without peeing/pooping/tearing things up/chewing stuff he isnt suppose to.)  I worry that I wont make it home in time to let him out to pee...I worry when he doesnt eat as much as I think he should be eating....I worry about him if he coughs....I worry like he was a real human child.

In the first month I had him....I was tempted to sell him because I was not getting any sleep, he was so time consuming, and that whole loss of freedom thing. He is just like having a toddler all over again! ( I didnt wanna go THAT far back into childhood ) So he will be 10 months old first week of October....in the past 4 months I have grown to love this little creature so much that I can't bear the thought of NOT having him in my life.  The unconditional love this little boy has shown me is just what the doctor ordered to cure my lonesomeness blues.  Yes he gets into trouble and I know when he is quiet...he is doing something that is naughty!  But when he is curled up in my lap and sleeping...or licking me in my face to wake me up (because he has to go out and pee)......its the best!

Since your family is not animal lovers, they will not ever understand the feelings you are having.  All you can do is tell them that you are sad and it will take some time for you to NOT be sad.  Dont ask them to jump on board with your feelings, but to understand that you are the one experiencing this loss and they need to respect that you are in mourning.  It kinda pisses me off that they arent even acknowledging how you feel let alone sympathizing with you even if they ARENT animal people.  

Like Stinky said....we may not be able to physically be there for you to comfort you in your time of loss...but we are certainly here for you in spirit and word to encourage you, support you, comfort you, or whatever else you need to get you through this.  Another fur baby will NOT take bulldog's place.....but you need to channel that love you have onto another fur baby.  There are many fur babies out there that need your love!!!  I promise you....he/she will love you back and bring you the joy that you deserve!