Need Help

[Sue]

Damn... I thought this a help thread... cause I really need some help.

Hugs lotsa hugs may make me feel just a tiny bit alive.

And yes I am serious about the hugs.

[C~M]

Damn... I thought this a help thread... cause I really need some help.

Hugs lotsa hugs may make me feel just a tiny bit alive.

And yes I am serious about the hugs.

 



Is that enough?  If not let me know, ok?

[Sue]

Thanks... 

I am really not someone who goes to church and talks to God....

But I am sure he exist.... Someone tell him I have reached my limit.

[Sue]

If tomorrow everything is still well awful...

I will let you all know what is going on.

[C~M]

I hope everything is OK, will be waiting for you to let us know.

[Sue]

A few of the highlights of the last four days.

1) I was officially diagnosed as Bi-Polar and prescribed a sleeping pill and another mood med.

2) The new meds ... well I am having a severe allergic reaction to them. Assume it is the mood one since it said it could cause these problems. My ankles no longer exist.... they are the size of my calves... now my calves and knees are the size of my thighs and well you get the picture. My legs and feet and toes are so swelled that even wearing flip flops hurts. Walking is painful also and if I push on the skin on my ankles it leaves an indent for at least 12-20 mins. Gotta love the holiday weekend and the lack of Drs.... but I quit taking it. Problem is .... I am still swelled. Yes I know and No I am not going to ER.

3) Speaking of allergies.... I am allergic to many brands of bandaids...often it is best to go without that suffer my skin being ripped off uin a few hrs or the next day. Yesterday I have a tiny itty bitty booboo on my leg that I wouldnt leave alone so I put scotch tape on it... and it works marvelously. Well it did its job great...but dumb chit me forgot and couldnt see the scotch tape and tried to shave my legs in case I went to ER. Well when my triple blade hit that tape it literally sliced my leg in three inch long deep gashes. Hmm so obviously the shower is running which is a good thing. I tell ******* to get some papertowels, and the first aid kit.  Did I mention I have really high blood pressure.... well you can imagine how bad and how long it bled. Done now and bandaged up with a hugs 2 x 5 inch bandaid... no option this time if I am allergic to bandaids or not.

4) After I got dressed and all I call my mom and jokingly ask her what blood type my brother is... she said she didnt know... I said welll I can give him one..Oh yeah.... my brother and a band saw got into an arguement and the bandsaw won and my brothers thumb lost. They had to orthopedically sew it back on.

cont.

[C~M]

Sounds like my leg problems...I have had swelling in them for 15+ years and lost the right one from a clot a few years ago.  The swelling for me was due to fluid buildup. My skin has stretched and shrunk so many times that it won't anymore and I have alligator skin.  If it starts holding fluid anymore, it makes open wounds, which has happened a lot.  Right now it is healed, but the top above knee is swelled big time.

I hope you get back to normal and get it figured out.  My brother is bi-polar also.

[Sue]

I bet you thought there couldnt possibly be more.

Trust me I write a book on all that has happened just in the last 12 hrs.... Basically the one I love has decided to leave me high and dry and move back to where he came from. I will be stuck with all the bills and pain.

He told me in no uncertain terms that no one likes me and no one ever will and that my kids all hate me and that I am an idiot and a evil human being. And about a hundred even meaner things. He said no one in my family likes. I was a worthless piece of chit. There was no stone left untouched... if he thought he could put me down over anything, he did. He said he dont love me and hasnt for a very long time.

Basically any self esteem I had was smacked down and stomped all over.

That is the short version but you get the picture that it has been rough for me.

[C~M]

Well, you don't need him if he feels that way.  Divorce him and take him to the cleaners.  As for your kids, if they feel that way also, cut them off from everything.  You will always have friends here.

[Sue]

Not married so an easy split.
He has no money and he bled me dry so that is why he is leaving.

I have five kids.... almost 23, almost 22, one will be 19 in Sept and the twins are 8 yrs old.
And I always contact the oldest one in case something happens...deaths, accidents, people cutting off their thumbs. But the girls I let them live their lives and if they need me, they dont, and I am available.... I would probably be there for them. Now the twins are those kids that I finally got a real grasp on parenting with and enjoy them most of the time.... but it is Spring break and it has been a long long month as they rarely went to Daddys house.

Thanks so much for listening.. it really did help.
Just nice to know I am not alone and that others have been through some of the same things. Thanks.

[Sue]

One more thing... they put on a sleeping pill cause I was only getting 2-3 hrs of sleep a day.

I took the first pill and within 10 minutesI was so seasick.

I had no choice but to go to bed.... and woke all alone exactly 3 hrs later.

So the sleepers did not work for me.

Night night

[C~M]

Probably just the wrong type as there are many, I would try an OTC brand as they don't have as many bad side effects.

Night Night if you're going to sleep

[Sue]

No sleep just need to start my Auntie back up.

Been up for 36 hrs and not tired. Mentally though I am exhausted.

[C~M]

lol, I like the new name

[harley89]

Sometimes we wonder just what in the universe has it in for us.  Been there several times in my life.  Take sometime and learn to love yourself.  And your self esteem nobody can take that you have to give it to them.  I have been married to the same man for 39 years and one thing I have learned no man is worth suffering abuse physically, emotional or money .  and I forgot to add about learning to love yourself if you cant love yourself nobody else can either.  Every life has a purpose and value you are important in the this life.  I have held this image of the end of my life for a long time. I reach heaven and God is standing there with his arms crossed tapping his foot and says I been waiting for you we need to talk.  Gonna be quite the conversation . If Im smart I will just for once keep my mouth shut and listen