I need help!

[Squid]

All input will be considered.

I need a foolproof plan for murdering my horrible, awful, disgusting neighbors.  I'd like them all dead in as clean a manner as possible with absolutely no possible trace or connection to me. 

Thank you for your consideration.

[C~M]

Send them to the movies or church or college.

[Yoming 2]

Tell them to watch the news...............it should bore them to death.     

[Squid]

Tell them to watch the news...............it should bore them to death.     

ROFL!  If only!

[AustinBennett]

Have them join Pogo, maybe you'll never see them again.   

[jtric1963]

tell me the address and i will send my mother in law over asap.

[Squid]

All good ideas!  I hate to admit it but I'm looking for something a little more painful.  Yes, they are THAT bad.

[C~M]

Put out a lot of bear traps

[Squid]

Put out a lot of bear traps

OK!  Now we're getting somewhere!  Remember, though, I don't want any connection to me.  I think other neighbors might see me setting those up and my DNA (skin cells, etc.) might be on the traps.  I was thinking something more along the lines of poisoning the water supply that ONLY goes to their house and won't affect ANYONE else or the environment at all.  I haven't located the right poison yet... one that would bring about an agonizing, drawn out death.  I don't know how to deliver it correctly, too. 

I like the way you're thinking, Crazy guy.  Keep up the good work.

[disneyland lady]

Call Jehovah's Witness hotline and say you are having a problem with faith and need intervention and give your neighbors info.

Or get some wood and make this

[Stinkerbell]

Shall I put them into a coma for you?

[Squid]

Great stuff!  Yes to the coma, please work quickly!  I think Jehovah's Witnesses now solicit by phone.  If I leave a sign like that outside and he/she are not actually convicted child molesters, can't I get into a heap of trouble?   I'm loving all the ideas!  Thanks so much!

[disneyland lady]

You can always do what I did ....let all of them move in and use your money to pay their food, electricity, water, Directv, internet. Then a jury will find you not guilty.

[snap20]

Two words: Carbon monoxide.

[Squid]

Two words: Carbon monoxide.

Nice....  I'm thinking I'll run a hose to a window from my running car.....?

[disneyland lady]

Nice....  I'm thinking I'll run a hose to a window from my running car.....?

This is doable but if you run it from their car it is not murder......it is suicide!

[snap20]

Nice....  I'm thinking I'll run a hose to a window from my running car.....?

Hey, I gave you the two words. The rest is up to you.

In no way are my two words meant to convey a recommendation of harming another human being and should in no way be construed as advice in a conspiracy for a random Squid to hypothetically inkify a neighbor.

[Squid]

This is doable but if you run it from their car it is not murder......it is suicide!

You're devious!  I like that about you!

[Yoming 2]

This is doable but if you run it from their car it is not murder......it is suicide!