Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a small-town Prosecuting Attorney called his first witness.
A grandmotherly, elderly Woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't
the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the Defense Attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The Defense Attorney almost died.
The Judge asked both Counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you Idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you BOTH to the Electric Chair."
:)) :))
good one :))
Good one !!
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:14:58 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Damn right they would. Ain't my kids. Hell, the only baby I have SMOKES and looks for cocktails. >:D
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:18:56 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:14:58 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Damn right they would. Ain't my kids. Hell, the only baby I have SMOKES and looks for cocktails. >:D
LMAO but he sure is a hottie !!
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:23:33 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:18:56 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:14:58 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Damn right they would. Ain't my kids. Hell, the only baby I have SMOKES and looks for cocktails. >:D
LMAO but he sure is a hottie !!
It's the eyebrows... (https://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/SunnyLibra/smokingbaby.gif)
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:26:49 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:23:33 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:18:56 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:14:58 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Damn right they would. Ain't my kids. Hell, the only baby I have SMOKES and looks for cocktails. >:D
LMAO but he sure is a hottie !!
It's the eyebrows... (https://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/SunnyLibra/smokingbaby.gif)
And his little cute eyes and his hair. He's so cute. Homer? I found us a kid. :))
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:29:19 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:26:49 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:23:33 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:18:56 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:14:58 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Damn right they would. Ain't my kids. Hell, the only baby I have SMOKES and looks for cocktails. >:D
LMAO but he sure is a hottie !!
It's the eyebrows... (https://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/SunnyLibra/smokingbaby.gif)
And his little cute eyes and his hair. He's so cute. Homer? I found us a kid. :))
OH gawd! I gotta go pee before I gigglepee or something! :))
that was very funny my hubby even laughed :))
lmao. ;D
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:30:31 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:29:19 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:26:49 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:23:33 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:18:56 PM
Quote from: Tara on June 09, 2006, 09:14:58 PM
Quote from: SunnyLibra on June 09, 2006, 09:06:40 PM
I aspire to be a southern grandma... However, I'll have to either,
a. Have kids of my own who have kids of their own...
b. Adopt some kids that have kids.
3. Become God mother to Tara and Homer's brats and hope the brats have kids.
Can't I just be a smart ass old lady? >:D
LMAO We aren't letting our kids near you woman. They would come back home acting like little >:D's :))
Damn right they would. Ain't my kids. Hell, the only baby I have SMOKES and looks for cocktails. >:D
LMAO but he sure is a hottie !!
It's the eyebrows... (https://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/SunnyLibra/smokingbaby.gif)
And his little cute eyes and his hair. He's so cute. Homer? I found us a kid. :))
OH gawd! I gotta go pee before I gigglepee or something! :))
gigglepee huh? :))
hmm i wonder what she knew about the judge that was so bad?