Little Johnny Jokes

[wattsmyname]

LMAO :)) :))

[somuchfun]

lol

[hades]

lol.  :))

[Kelly]

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

I'm gonna use this one I just know it.....  :))

[IndianLover]

omg that was good  :))

[david/ross]

 :D very funny  :)) :)))

[Monkey]

One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".

His teacher replies "NO"

Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".

"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.

Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".

She again says "NO".

"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.

"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.

Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"

Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".

:)))

[wattsmyname]

OMG so funny  :)) :))

[peaches1977]

 :o  now that was funny~!   :))

[hades]

lmao.  ;D

[damian666]

 :ooo omg

[crazy_]

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Little Johnny got up and read his essay.

It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..." "My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"

"He must be," said Johnny. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday"   :))

[xx_mandy_xx]

i dont know if this was posted yet....cuz theres 7 pgs to go through still....but i thought this was...cute lol

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the cashier, Little Johnny, was talking on the phone with his back turned to her. "Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?" Little Johnny turns, stares at her for a second, looks her up and down, smiles and says, "Not bad."

[wattsmyname]

LMAO  :)) :))

[justahumping]

 :)))

[IndianLover]

lol that was cute

[hades]

lol.  :)

[xx_mandy_xx]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she's a Cubs fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're Cubs fans, too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan is but wanting to be just like their teacher, the students launch their hands into the air. There is, however, one exception: Little Johnny doesn't go along with the crowd.

The teacher asks him why he's decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Cubs fan," Litle Johnny says.

"Then what are you?" asks the teacher.

"Why, I'm proud to be a Yankees fan," boasts Little Johnny. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Johnny why he's a Yankees fan. "Well, my mom and dad are Yankees fans, so I'm a Yankees fan, too."

The teacher is now very angry. "That's no reason!" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

Little Johnny pauses, then smiles. "Why, then," he says, "I'd be a Cubs fan."

[xx_mandy_xx]

A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks,"What's so funny Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"

[xx_mandy_xx]

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johnny?" "My goldfish died", replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

As Johnny patted down the last heap of earth he then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."